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How do you tell someone on an online dating site that you're not that into them?

StephenHarris

A lady waved at me on an online dating site. We got chatting and when she didn't seem to know what Armistice Day was despite coming from Hong Kong, I got slightly suspicious... but still.

The main problem is that I just don't find her physically attractive and while that's not the sole thing in a relationship, it's kind of an essential part.

How do I break it off without upsetting her?

Parents

  • It doesn't sound like you've actually got anything much to 'break off'.  I'd just say that it was nice chatting to her, but you would really prefer to talk to someone closer - something like that.  Unless you live in Hong Kong, too, dating isn't going to be that easy for you!  I'm sure she'll understand.  And she's probably got plenty of other people waving at her.

    I understand the thing about 'not upsetting' people, though.  You don't have to tell her you don't find her physically attractive.  Just some other way - like I've said - of showing you're not really interested.

  • in reply to Martian Tom

    I guess ignoring or keeping your distance doesn't work for online dating? Confused

    And proposing a friendship because of a whole lot of reasons?

  • in reply to Blank

    I don't think I could use it for those very reasons.  I once actually got 'friendly' with someone on a social media forum and we struck up a close correspondence.  She was in Canada, and I decided to go out and meet her.  It didn't go well!  The closeness we had online was destroyed by the actual meeting, when we both realised that the reality didn't live up to the idea we'd conjured up in our heads.

    Then there was my last partner, who got in touch with me from France after she'd read something I'd posted on a writers' site I use.  That became really intense.  We ended up exchanging countless texts and emails a day, then chatting on Skype.  Finally, she came over for a holiday and to visit me.  Within a month, she'd moved in.  It was an absolute disaster.  An epic nightmare.  I'm so glad it's all in the past now.

    But when you're in the thick of it all online, it can seem like the most wonderful thing.  Reality usually bites, though - or so I've found.

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  • in reply to Blank

    I don't think I could use it for those very reasons.  I once actually got 'friendly' with someone on a social media forum and we struck up a close correspondence.  She was in Canada, and I decided to go out and meet her.  It didn't go well!  The closeness we had online was destroyed by the actual meeting, when we both realised that the reality didn't live up to the idea we'd conjured up in our heads.

    Then there was my last partner, who got in touch with me from France after she'd read something I'd posted on a writers' site I use.  That became really intense.  We ended up exchanging countless texts and emails a day, then chatting on Skype.  Finally, she came over for a holiday and to visit me.  Within a month, she'd moved in.  It was an absolute disaster.  An epic nightmare.  I'm so glad it's all in the past now.

    But when you're in the thick of it all online, it can seem like the most wonderful thing.  Reality usually bites, though - or so I've found.

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