21year old Autistic daughter wont eat

Have you taken her to the GP or dentist? She may have pain in her mouth or swallowing difficulties and not be able to express this to you even though she’s verbal.

Hi , sorry yes she has been to dentist, nothing wrong with her teeth or mouth, she just doesnt want to eat, she either bites the smallest bits and spitballs them out of her mouth, or spits them onto her plate. It took 6 hours on xmas day for her to eat her tiny dinner, with all the spitting and noises that goes with it. we spend about 8 hours a day sat with her while she eats, and thats only 2 meals as she will take her toast into her room at breakfast and do the same thing to that.

There could be many reasons as to why she is not eating. She may not actually like the taste or feel of savoury foods or it could be something more complex like anxiety. Until you are able to eliminate possible triggers or explaitions maybe you could try buying Ensure’s from the pharmacy, they come in chocolate flavour so at least she will get some nutrition. 

Hi Sunflower,, she has a psychologist, nurses and doctors who specialise in it all, but they cant seem to help. She loves where she is at residential college, but she is the same there as she is at home, but at home we can persist in getting her to fnish her meal no matter how long it takes, she went down to 7 stone but we ahve got her back up to 7st7 , we know then she has a bit of weight behind her when she goes back to college.which eases it all a little bit.

Im glad they sorted out the problems for the lady you mentioned, its just so hard isnt it,,Thankyou for your reply and advice xx

Many years ago, when I was a social worker, an autistic woman who lived in a group home stopped eating and got very distressed when being assisted to use the loo. There were long discussions in team meetings about possible causes.

We discovered that staff were limiting fluid intake because of her tendency to spill drinks, which led to dangerous dehydration. They were also 'forgetting' to weigh her regularly as required in her care plan. This was very risky. Concerns about staff skills and experience had to be addressed as a matter of urgency.

In the meantime this woman's body weight got so low that a psychiatrist removed her from the group home using emergency powers. As soon as she was in a different placement the problems resolved and she began eating again. Because communication was very limited we never knew exactly what had caused her to refuse food. It seemed clear that she had been expressing unhappiness about some aspect of her previous situation. 

It must be heartbreaking as parents to see your daughter refusing food and getting so distressed. Having just been diagnosed autistic at the age of 58 I have been really impressed by the ability of psychologists to listen, observe and deduce what is going on. Is there any way you could get an experienced psychologist with expertise in autism to assess the difficulties your daughter is having?

Wishing you her all the very best. I do hope things soon start to change for the better. 

Please dont think you have upset me, you havent at all :) I believe it must be psychological too,,and thats the tough bit as anything else could be worked out I guess.  Onwards  and upwards as they say,,we cant do anhing else other than trying to find out whats causing it,,and thankyou :) xx

Thank you for explaining, I understand now. Reading the other replies I am concerned I have upset you. I’m sorry if I have. 

As I mentioned above, if the cause is not physical or sensory then it is more likely to be a psychological reason such as anxiety. As the other person suggests, talk to her. She may not be completely aware of her reasons or she may struggle to process all of them and then verbalise it. 

Maybe try and talk to her about her days at college. 

If you quickly google chewing and spitting behaviour it comes up with information regarding eating disorders, or you add autism to the end it comes up with challenging behaviours and also regression so you are probably on the correct train of thought in that sense. 

All I can really say is to keep going. You’re doing the best you can. 

You have helped more than you know, its hard to explain to people who arent in the situation of having autism or being around it, so being here is helping me. Ive looke don the top sites, and them saying get her to sit up straight with towels rolled up by her back, and im like what the actual""",, she sits with her legs folded under her and no amount of telling her to sit properly will work,,putting food in ice cubes was another stratergy,, I know it works some some people but not for her,,its just disheartening when top peeps say this, it makes me feel it will never end and it actually may not, who knows. But any help or talking is just fabulous thankyou xx

You have helped more than you know, its hard to explain to people who arent in the situation of having autism or being around it, so being here is helping me. Ive looke don the top sites, and them saying get her to sit up straight with towels rolled up by her back, and im like what the actual""",, she sits with her legs folded under her and no amount of telling her to sit properly will work,,putting food in ice cubes was another stratergy,, I know it works some some people but not for her,,its just disheartening when top peeps say this, it makes me feel it will never end and it actually may not, who knows. But any help or talking is just fabulous thankyou xx