Faceblindness?

Does anyone else on the forum have some degree of difficulty recognising faces?

Once again I have made an utter fool of myself because someone with similar hair to the person I was trying to follow up with has sat in the same seat as I last saw them in.

*Cringe*

It’s so embarrassing. I have had many several-minute-long conversations with close friends I didn’t recognise (while internally desperately trying to work out who this person chatting familiarly to me is) because they have started wearing glasses or had a haircut or grown a beard.

Looking back, I can see it’s something I have always had problems with; I had a massive meltdown when I was at primary school because my mum had a drastic haircut and I could no longer recognise her amongst the other parents. As a child I leapt onto the end of strangers’ supermarket trolleys in exuberant greeting on a few occasions after mistaking them for my parents.

 I’ve even assumed I must know a friend of a friend who was just really overfriendly with strangers (which was funny in hindsight, actually, especially my reaction when our mutual friend revealed we hadn’t, in fact, met previously after all and I had spent several minutes of conversation anxiously straining my memory for NOTHING).

Most people take it in good grace if they know me well (one of my best friends had a dramatic haircut the other month and even sent me photos in advance so he wouldn’t confuse me too badly, though he was saving it as a surprise for the rest of the group! Star!)

 It’s difficult when it’s work colleagues (whom I almost never recognise out of context) passing in the street, though, and MORTIFYING when it’s taken by the person on the receiving end as some sort of “people of X ethnicity look the same” thing (which has happened to me twice in my life, both stick with me vividly). Luckily I did manage to get the explanation across that “no, literally anyone with very broadly similar features or hair (or occasionally who moves in a similar way) looks the same. It even happens with my family. I know it’s weird.”, but I dread the day someone is upset and I don’t get the chance to tell them what was actually going on. D: 

I’ve done a bit of research recently that suggests difficulty with facial recognition might be more common in our community than the general population, so can anyone else make me feel less alone by sharing their embarrassing tales of mistaken identity? :3 

Parents
  • Hi Emma,

    Yes, this happens to me all the time. Like you I have had some totally mortifying experiences when it appeared I was confusing someone purely because of their ethnicity. I am not diagnosed autistic yet so it's even harder to explain without feeling like I'm just making excuses. 

    A recent example of face blindness was at a Macmillan Coffee Morning. I was asked to get change for £10 by a female volunteer, then I could not find the right person to give the two £5s back to. Ended up giving the money to the wrong person, and then being treated as the object of everyone's amusement and derision. 

    I think I fitted more easily into academic roles I held back in the 1990s when a certain amount of eccentricity seemed acceptable, even the norm in certain departments. In my current people-facing role I feel like my colleagues are showing off their superior people skills then looking across at me as if to say "that's how you're supposed to do it!" 

    How lovely to have a colleague who gets it... as you say he is an absolute star! 

    Another thing that happens to me is I often don't notice when people have had their hair cut, so I don't compliment them. It sometimes applies to gadgets - my husband installed a new Freeview box without me noticing for several weeks. This sort of thing seems contradictory as I notice minute details about many other things. 

    Seems like face blindness may be another fascinating but frustrating aspect of autism! 

  • "I was asked to get change for £10 by a female volunteer, then I could not find the right person to give the two £5s back to. Ended up giving the money to the wrong person, and then being treated as the object of everyone's amusement and derision."
    Eek! This sounds like EXACTLY the sort of thing I would do, Sunflower. D:

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  • "I was asked to get change for £10 by a female volunteer, then I could not find the right person to give the two £5s back to. Ended up giving the money to the wrong person, and then being treated as the object of everyone's amusement and derision."
    Eek! This sounds like EXACTLY the sort of thing I would do, Sunflower. D:

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