This is what it's like to be a woman with Asperger's

Thank you, you are great too  xx

You are both really great :-)

This conversation is so nice. Zosh is wise! So are your parents. And you're definitely being really proactive in trying to make friends xx

Thank you it can be hard to see everyone moving on. However, reading what you have said it makes me think that I should just concentrate on what I want. To concentrate on making friends, finding a career and not let anything stop me. Yes I will hit speed bumps in the road but I know that I will overcome them somehow. 

Thank you for saying that I sound like an interesting person. I would like to show that to people who are like me, to show them how funny, friendly, helpful, caring and just show that even though I find it hard to understand things, I would like to show that I can have a good time xx

Just wanted to add being here with other autistics it is safe to just be yourself, no judgement, I have been a member for over a year and know acceptance of high level exists, we are a close community and WE don’t make rules we just get along.

please go off topic or ramble on, because without realising it someone, maybe even me will read it and find some kind of recognition or even help just by knowing they are not so different after all.

take care, 

Hi AmyLR94, I relate a lot to what you say. Even though it seems there are these milestones we need to reach (either because we really want to or because we feel that is what is expected of us), but, as cliched as it is to say, everyone reaches them at different stages, or not at all and that is fine! I know how frustrating it is too feel other people are moving on and achieving things (especially the things people take for granted, like having friends).

That said, my family would often say to me exactly what I just said to you and I would get really annoyed and say "but that's not going to help me achieve these things so it doesn't really help! It's just empty words".

But they're not empty words, it really is true. The number of friends you have isn't a measure of your worth. But if you want to meet more friends, it seems like you are going about it well *applause*! Wider society and the messages from media and things don't really accommodate the real diversity of lifestyles, which can make you feel bad about yourself. I'm still sensitive to these messages but my self-diagnosis has allowed me to feel more accepting of my own ways of going about things. I hope an official diagnosis will help more, I know it won't be that straightforward though.

I suppose I also want to say that different people who have had roundabout and upside down lives are really interesting! 

And finally, there's a sort of mantra that I discovered on lifeonthespectrum.net that says “I am no longer a failed normal person. I am a successful aspie.” (Not that anyone should see themselves as a failed normal person! But it can feel that way.) There is no need to feel bad about finding things difficult that NTs don't. You sound like a really interesting person with lots of interests that you can share with the right people when they come along

Thank you so much for your reply. And sorry for not getting back to you earlier (I'm really terrible at replying to messages/posts/anything!) I was really touched by your response and I hope I helped.

(Sorry for hijacking your post a bit by going on about my own things. I was really just trying to show how I related. I feel I got a bit self-obsessed!)

This forum really does seem to be a great place for reassurance that you're not alone!

Thank you, it is hard to know who is trustworthy. I have always had trouble with friendships so I am hoping to either find friends on here that maybe one day I could meet up with and be able to enjolife. Or find some groups or something to find friends . Thank you, my parents always say it’s their loss not yours xx

I know what you mean. It can be hard to know who is trustworthy. Sometimes I think it turns out to be the people you least expect to get on with who end up being really good friends. But I know what you mean, and I feel I've experienced it too, though I do think I've found some lovely people too. But when I was at school, I also used to hide in the library every break time because I didn't really feel welcome in common rooms etc. People are really complicated too, and one person can often do mean and kind things both at different times. It can be so hard to judge where to put your trust. I'm so sorry :-(. I just really hope you know that they are the ones wuth the problem, not you. Xx

Awe thank you, I have experienced in my life though that even though I am kind and friendly I still get treated badly ‍

I don’t know about that lol I Come across people who are horrible or just liars and just use me. But I have met a couple of people who are friendly.

And your welcome  I thought a screenshot maybe a lot easier to explain then me trying to type out to explain lol xx

You absolutely can achieve that. I have no doubt, just keep being friendly and kind as you are. I think it's also true that people get more accepting of difference as they get older. Now you're in your twenties and not your teens, you might find people are kinder. I hope so.

Thank you for this! I'll try it now xxx :-)

Thank you  I just would like to be able to enjoy life like everyone else. Even if it means just having a couple of friends, I would be happy with that.

Yeah, I understand. I am trying really hard to achieve things by looking through this website, looking through forums, typing things in google just see if there is anything I can do. 

It is an amazing hoodie and my favourite  I love it so much! I am so happy to have gotten it when I did.

haha! When you have signed in and your at the beginning of the forums, go to the top of the page and in the top right there will be three lines in a column. Click on that and it will drop down, you’ll see a lightening streak for your notifications, a speech bubble for your messages, a bookmark for things you have saved and then a circle with your profile picture in it. If you click on the speech bubble, that will tak you too your messages

Hope this screenshot helps and your welcome, I would love to talk about many things with you  and yes I have one cat named Fluffy xx

I'm so glad you are being so proactive in trying to make friends. Never give up on trying to find like-minded people. That shows actually how very resilient you are!

You're definitely not wasting your life. This is just a short period in your life and I feel sure you will eventually achieve lots of the things you want. It's just about finding a way that works for you.

What a great hoodie :-). I have tried to accept your friend request but I can't actually work out how to reply to your message. I'm so bad with technology haha! Thank you so much for sending it, that was lovely of you. I'm here for you if you️ need someone to talk to about worries, books, cats (I read you had one, I have two) or many other things. Thank you so much. Xxx

Hi Lydia, this forum has been great to me. I never thought about joining a forum but now enjoy it as I know I am not the only one who feels the same way. I wish that there was more support for adults after getting a diagnosis, I know that they are trying to do this and I hope it happens. Me and my parents have no clue on what else to do. I have signed up on the forum, signed up for E-befriending, signed up for group outings with people my own age, I get the autism magazine and just recently I have enrolled on a free course on OpenLearn that is organised by The Open University on a course called Understanding Autism since I’m not getting any help.

I too find it strange how people can find someone and settle down so young. I know I have my whole life ahead of me, but sometimes I feel my life is just getting wasted away. 

You are welcome, it is always nice to speak to someone who feels the same way. You too are a very sweet and thoughtful person who also deserves love, friendship and happiness . To others it may sound corny but it isn’t to me, I have a hoodie that was designed by an actor named Jared Padalecki who battles with depression and on the hoodie it’s says love yourself first. And it is my favourite hoodie that I will always keep and use xx

Hi Amy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I really hope that this forum helps a bit...just seeing that you're not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. I agree that there is a woeful lack of support post diagnosis. It's like you get given a huge piece of news and then told to deal with it on your own. I am very glad you too have lovely parents though. I guess the hope we can both hold is that we are still fairly young...there is a whole life ahead of us. Particularly with things like marriage and children, it's quite unusual for someone to have met their life partner at our age...there is plenty of time. Thank you for being so kind, you truly are a very sweet and thoughtful person who deserves love and friendship and happiness. I hope you can love yourself too, corny as it sounds. xx

I know how you feel, I feel like this all the time. I have brilliant parents who are my best friends. And if you read my post in the introduce you forum then you will understand my struggle with friendship. I was diagnosed at the age of 22 after I kept feeling terrible about myself (resulting in sucial thoughts) and my parents were looking for answers. When we got the news that I am Autistic I was so relieved. However, it’s been a year and I still haven’t had any help or support on what to do next. 

I get really depressed seeing people doing things I would like to do. For example, a job, friendship, relationship, marriage, kids, a house etc. I try my best to perk myself up with reading books, waching tv, playing Sims etc which does help the majority of the the time but sometimes it doesn’t so I know how your feel. If you ever want to talk I am here  x

I hope your diagnosis is helpful to you. Thanks so much for your kind reply. It means a lot.

Thank you for being honest. I totally agree about gender bias and how this leads to both missed and misdiagnosis. In fact, I feel this bias creates unecessary boundaries and fails to note that autism really has no gender. Im a Man in my late twenties who was diagnosed early last year, and whilst my journey will have some differences, I do understand that life is harder to negotiate when the world doesn’t understand regardless of who we are. The Fourms are a good place to say how things are and whenever contributions are made, they can help. I feel it’s really important that we build inclusive groups and learn from each other.

Everyone has been so kind in their responses, so thank you. I wish you all well too :-)

Thank you, Hathor. I'm sorry you find it tough too, but hope you're able to make sense of your own life in your own way and enjoy all the talents and qualities I'm sure you have. I hope you have a good support network too -- you deserve to be happy.