My husband is 46 & although undiagnosed we both believe he has Aspergers. I want him to get a diagnosis but he doesn’t think there is any point because he doesn’t need any help or support but I do. I find it so hard. He can be so hurtful & I don’t know whether I am using his potential condition as an excuse or whether he really doesn’t care about me.
He thinks most of the communication problems we have are down to my inability to understand, it’s me who is doing things wrong. He doesn’t really understand other people & doesn’t have any friends so there is no one to bounce things off. He knows that there is more to communication than words but usually tries to guess what is being conveyed & often gets it wrong, reading more into things than there really is. This causes paranoia as he is convinced people don’t like him or are talking about him behind his back, criticising him. When they probably haven’t even given him any thought. This causes misunderstandings & falling out.
He is always right & I am wrong. We argue constantly. His family life was v difficult so that doesn’t help as there is no support there & he puts a lot of his issues down to that.
I am most upset today as he has gone abroad for 5 days & I just dropped him at the station. He shouted at me for not parking in the right place & just got out of the car, happy to go off without even saying goodbye. It was really the last straw for me. So hurtful & I am so sad that it has been left like this. We have 2 children who he adores although due to his intolerance they complain that Daddy shouts at them a lot.
He has a lot of the usual traits.
Inability to read non verbal communication, self absorption, can’t tolerate certain noises, obsessive behaviour.
I just really need some support but don’t know where to turn.
