Published on 12, July, 2020
well I’m 31 and I don’t think I’ve ever had friends. Yesterday I was assessed and diagnosed with autism and aspergers and within the assessment it was pointed out I have a weird tone of voice ie tone vs context, my wife pointed out I can sound aggressive of which I was partially conscious about but unaware of how noticible it was. Also something I didn’t know was a lack of facial expressions resulting in a “blank face “ as the psychiatrist put it. Know I know y I struggled to make friends. But not sure how this knowledge will help me to make friends?
Do you have acquaintances. People you know, maybe at work, or outside work that you strike conversations with? they aren't quite full blown friends, but you might say go and have a pint with them after work? Maybe sit and talk crap on a lunch break. Then you probably know people who may think of you as a friend.
I have one proper friend. I have one almost friend who is my gym partner and several acquaintances.
Anyway, you have a wife. Thats more than I ever achieved. Plus she obviously loves you. So I wouldnt massively worry about it.
So how to make other friends. Join a club, maybe with your wife. Sports clubs are the easiest to approach generally. Maybe a walking club or bowling, etc. You get the idea. By joining one, you will socialise, even if its in a pseudo aspie way. With time and familiarity you will gain friends, and maybe you will decide to let them in on your issues (or maybe not). At least that sounds good on paper. In reality, having ASD and making friends is just hard. Your best bet is to find other people with ASD. My main friend also has ASD. Since we are both tuned into the same wavelength we get on fairly well.