Published on 12, July, 2020
Today I have been diagnosed as having autism and aspergers and am looking for people to talk too
Is it normal for an autistic person to be in denial. I’ve been diagnosed but when I read a book I was given called, Autism: a guide for those who support adults following a diagnosis, I don’t think any of it really relates to me. Yet reading some of your guys posts I see myself.
Im a little confused right now to be honest
Welcome, Jason.
Yes, having a touch of "imposter syndrome" is perfectly normal from what I have seen over the past few years, and it does take some time for all the repercussions to work themselves out, especially when there are years of events from the past that are suddenly shown in a new light.
Forums like this one are just the place to be, in my opinion. Like you, I was given reading materials etc. after my assessment. However, like the one you mention, they were all written by professionals; that is, people looking in on autism from the outside, not people who actually experience the different thinking that leads to the behaviours that they use as diagnostic signs. There is far, far more to autism beyond the narrow range of traits used for diagnosis and the external signs that lead neuro-typical people to find us a bit strange. For example, through talking to people on forums, I have realised that my autism is characterised by hyperlexia, demand avoidance, executive functioning difficulties and alexithymia; all barely touched on at my assessment, and not mentioned at all in my formal report. In fact, even the latest diagnostic guidelines (ICD-11) still make no mention of sensory sensitivities, melt-downs, masking, or burning out, despite the fact that these are all extremely common autistic experiences.
We all have wildly differing combinations of those traits, and even where we share them, they can show themselves in different ways. You really can't beat finding other people with similar experiences to learn from, and to see beneath the behavioural traits to the underlying mental differences.
But do try not to overwhelm yourself by trying to take it all in in one go, it's a lot to swallow whole! And I hope you find the community as beneficial as I have.