Published on 12, July, 2020
Of course, and as you can see from my other posts, I am seeking an autism diagnosis for myself. However, one of my major motivations in doing so is to find a key to what has been going on within my whole family for some considerable time - across generations, I would say.
There have been major issues with social skills, chronic anxiety, poor self care etc plus also some very strong traits like academic aptitude, perceptiveness and a different perspective to bring to situations. Some traits also, that bring both positives and negatives - stubbornness (great if you're on the right track, otherwise potentially problematic) and heightened sensitivity (seemingly linked to intelligence and awareness but also to feeling things very acutely and being easily wounded).
Within my family I have also noticed repeating problems such as difficulty holding down a job, problems coping with courses leading to a high drop-out rate and poor financial management.
Of course, much of what I've noticed applies to a large number of the general population, but it feels more entrenched and predictable within my family. And, whilst some of it could be attributable to family patterns and parenting styles, some issues have remained remarkably similar for individuals born in the 1920s and much more recently, plus also in spite of very different times and geographical locations (e.g. a branch of the family in Australia).
Whilst it would be wrong to impose a diagnosis on others, I really want to understand and to try to help with some of the more negative aspects. It devastates me to see history repeating itself. And to do this I need to feel confident I'm in the right groups and accessing the right resources.
So, assuming I get a diagnosis, does that say anything about the likelihood of autism being in the rest of the family, especially my children?
Yes, I feel full of questions. I am also wondering whether a firm diagnosis will bring more awareness and therefore more positive options into our lives.
If it helps, my eldest was diagnosed with AS years ago. I didn't know(!)
I was diagnosed with AS earlier this year.
My youngest is certainly showing signs of stimming, sensory issues, special interests, dislike of finishing an activity he's engrossed in...
We've been wondering which side of the family it has come from. One uncle was quite possibly affected, but we have more questions than answers.
Many thanks Emma. Yes, it is that bigger picture I am seeking. I think that I would then be better able to understand some of the recurring themes in my family, and possibly help at a much earlier stage.
Neither of my sons will seek a diagnosis and yet our issues are such that family life has been severely affected. I therefore feel forced to consider probabilities and use these as a basis for a kind of family formulation of interlinked or overlapping problems. If our family dynamics could be improved with a view to decreasing the likelihood of certain problems either cropping up or continuing, this would he ideal.
However, I am the only one seeking a diagnosis so I feel a little bit out on a limb. My sister wonders why I'm doing it and asked me why I thought it was a family thing. And I kind of zoomed out from our individual problems and highlighted what I thought were the main themes. I also likened it to joining the dots between individual issues and then being more aware of what is happening. I think she got the point but equally I don't want to upset anyone by coming across as though we should all be diagnosed.
Autism definitely does often run in families, and has been suggested by several studies to have a strong genetic component. In my family at least I have also noticed that the traits appear even in many of those who never met the threshold for formal diagnosis.
So yes, I would say if you have it your children are more likely to BUT it’s absolutely not certain and the only way to be sure is to pursue that avenue of diagnosis for each of them individually. (Although even if they have traits but not autism per se some of the strategies that help with those specific traits may work well for them too).
Taking my family as an example of autism being heritable-ish;
My paternal grandmother showed very typical signs of being autistic (though she was not diagnosed due to her age; the awareness just wasn’t around then). We are convinced she would have been diagnosed if she had been born in modern times.
My father was not diagnosed autistic, but definitely had a very few traits of aspergers, behavioural and sensory (which became increasingly apparent towards the end of his life when he was very ill). So the autism has skipped a generation, but there were some traits there under the surface if you looked hard.
My mother is a keen family historian and has found some circumstantial evidence (e.g. several newspaper reports on events my grandma’s g-grandmother was involved in) that she believes suggest autistic traits may have run in that side of the family for a very long time indeed. Obviously no way to know for sure, of course, but they do strike a chord sometimes.
Now to make things confusing;
My brother, definitely not autistic. Very obviously Neurotypical as a young child. Consistently Neurotypical body language, communication and development. No sensory or similar traits to be seen. However over time he would often use body language, behaviour, etc. similar to mine when we interacted. Some of this gradually integrated itself into his day-to-day behaviour, so you could say he developed behavioural AS traits as the result of being raised alongside an autistic sibling (Mum calls it “aspie by osmosis”).
Aren’t families complicated! :P But I hope my experience helps you build that bigger picture you are looking for.