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Friends/Support for my son

NAS38783

Hello,

I am new to this site, to be honest I have never been on any of these pages before.

My son is 18, he has Aspergers we live in Essex.

He has no social life, he attends college but does not make friends/interact as he is unsure how to.

His hobbies are building Gundam Models which are from Japan. It is such a shame and it hurts me to see him so lonely.

Are there any teens/families that are in the same situation?? Do you know of any SAFE friendship sites or groups that are available? He has a fantastic sense of humour, his autism is not high functioning but socialising and friendships he struggles with.

can someone please help me??

A very hopeful Mum x

  • Hi- Where about in Essex are you?

    Has he said he is lonely?

    Does he have an online presence? Can you talk to him about the issue? 

    Are you able to suggest him going to an event- and you hang back somewhere having a coffee? 

    Sorry lots of questions! 

  • in reply to Song

    Hello Song,

    Apologies if it came across that I was being rude.

    Harry is studying Catering, he starts back in the Level 2 in September.

    I totally understand that meeting somewhere busy would be awful as the noise, the commotion and trying to maintain a conversation would be the worst.

    its just that he says to me all the time, why am I so lonely Mum??

    Harry thought that all through school he was not liked, there were a few people that would give him some time, but the WHOLE of the Year 11s voted Harry prom king!!! 

    They all said that they would miss him and his ways of doing things.

    i just hate to see him depressed at times and just wish I could make it all better.

    kind regards

  • in reply to NAS38783

    I don't for a moment think you would put anything up on the forum of it wasn't what you thought was best for your son and I wasn't suggesting that you would. I was asking you a question which you answered in the first part of your answer. 

    In response to the first part of your answer, I have On occasion also wished for a friend i could hang out with, go to a coffee shop with or have lunch with but I'm reality it would for me be a disaster, I wouldn't know what to do while hanging out, a coffee shop would be too dreadful even to think about, I would never make it there. 

    The second part of your answer since you made the statement 

    NAS38783 said:
    i would not have put anything up on the forum if it wasn’t what I thought was best for my son.

    I am assuming that it is there for my reply. What parents think is best for their ASC children socially is often very uncomfortable for the young adult. 

    What is he studying at college?

  • in reply to Song

    Hello,

    in response to your question yes, sometimes he says that he wished that he had a friend that he could do things with/hang out.

    i would not have put anything up on the forum if it wasn’t what I thought was best for my son.

    Regards

  • in reply to Disambiguating Cynosure

    Hello,

    Thank you for replying. 

    I shall take a look at the links you attached.

    My son loves everything to do with Gundam, he builds all of the model kits (even though the instructions are in Japanese).

    Thanks again & Kind Regards

  • Greetings to "NAS38783"...

    NAS38783 said:
    Gundam Models which are from Japan

    This is the part which drew me in - I used to be a "Gundam Wing" Fan myself... yet to this day am Aspergers, aged over Forty, and do not much care for "friendships". It is stressful enough maintaining myself without further inviting the troubles of others - although, of course, helping others is a good thing.

    My Post here is to agree with Miss Song, and to Post the following Links which might be of some use:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/services/england/essex.aspx#

    https://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx

    ...This last is NAS' general Services Directory, and if you type in "Essex" or wherever you live, then a list of services may appear. But the NAS Site is throwing a bit of a wobbler just now, else I would have given more specific Essex Links. Good Luck anyway --- and "Gundam" means an interest in ANIME/MANGA, and there are plenty of persons in the World interested in that, even upon this here Forum.

  • Hello. Perhaps a silly question but is your son lonely, I mean has he told you he is?