Avoiding looking at yourself in mirrors

Another thread asking 'is this an autistic thing?'

I've noticed I avoid catching sight of my reflection in bathroom cabinets, hallway mirrors and so on. It occurs to me that the sense is almost one of embarrassment, and may be similar to my problems connecting with other people and my general reluctance to make eye contact. When I'm in my inner world, is another human being too much even if it's myself?

I'm pretty sure it's not just worry about my appearance or ageing. I recall a big group at school when I was about 15 (at what might be PHSE nowadays), and a teacher asked for a show of hands by who had looked in the mirror that morning. They were teenagers. Of course they were concerned to look their best. I think I was the only one who hadn't, and didn't usually. I don't worry about appearance most of the time – I might look if in a fitting room, or glance in a car window if going to an event where I'm in front of people, and do have to shave occasionally but am still uncomfortable and don't look at my overall appearance. Almost literally scared of my own shadow.

There was some mention of this from a few people here: last month and a year ago. Kind of relate to 'a lot of other people with similar issues with mirrors'.

So here's the poll. Just a bit of fun, I hope.

Clarification after what Pirate Santa said: 'don't like eye contact' means either you probably don't keep eye contact as much as a typical person, or there are some circumstances, eg meetings with strangers, when you will usually be looking away, or inclined to look away, from people. There are times when I am interested in looking at someone, but it's far from my usual mode of being.

Parents
  • Hi Cassandro

    thank you for posting that. I don’t look as there’s a self there that even I can’t fathom. Be kind to your self you’re fervently scratching for meaning at present.... like a pig hunting truffles.. trying to find the scientific root if who you are.

    1. you come across on the forum as a good person
    2. you seem wise and insightful
    3. Don’t forget that intelligence frightens people... you appear to be coping and intellect can be more of a barrier than autism. 
    4. People want to help but sometimes it’s not knowing the route in. I for one am crap about giving people precise direction even though I need it myself! The irony :)

    find here carrots with no sticks attached

    Sometimes we become so good at masking that people don’t see the vulnerable confused self and you won’t show that self readily because it means loss of self control, and agency which makes one feel vulnerable. You’re hyper processing. The puzzle pieces will find their place. Just because you have a diagnosis of autism does not negate that other support is not needed. 

    Be kind to yourself because you deserve that. 

  • Thanks for the carrots, Ellie, from a tired old donkey.

    I notice the Compleat Guide to Aspergers mentions 'a tendency to intellectualize feelings'.

    Just because you have a diagnosis of autism does not negate that other support is not needed. 

    Now, Pedanticus strikes again. Is the second 'not' unintentional? In which case, yes, I can't see all my frustrated wishes solely through the prism (ɿoɿɿim ɿo) of autism.

    Having a quiet day.

    Be kind to yourself because you deserve that. 

    Same to you.

Reply
  • Thanks for the carrots, Ellie, from a tired old donkey.

    I notice the Compleat Guide to Aspergers mentions 'a tendency to intellectualize feelings'.

    Just because you have a diagnosis of autism does not negate that other support is not needed. 

    Now, Pedanticus strikes again. Is the second 'not' unintentional? In which case, yes, I can't see all my frustrated wishes solely through the prism (ɿoɿɿim ɿo) of autism.

    Having a quiet day.

    Be kind to yourself because you deserve that. 

    Same to you.

Children
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