What positive steps did you take after (adult) diagnosis?

Did Diagnosis help?

I suppose that depends on what you mean in terms of 'help'. Through that label, it helped me gain access to support I needed at that point in my life. To put it into context, I was diagnosed at 32. Sure, childhood was tough, I had my issues, but obviously there was a lack of understanding and awareness combined with the fact that my parents were also having their own problems to deal with. I was just seen as shy and having developmental problems. Growing up, I struggled, didn't fit in, was obviously different and I probably wasn't fully able to understand everything I was going through in my earlier years. School was a terrible experience in lots of ways but I focused on getting an education under the assumption that as long as I worked hard and got results I could move on from that place, leave all the people behind that made my life hell, and finally get on with life away from them. Of course I understood I was different and spent a lot of time trying to work out how to fit in, clearly it was never going to happen, and I never did fit in. I came to accept the fact that I was different and didn't fit in. I went off to university, which was also a struggle in lots of ways but I pushed myself to be able to get on with things. However, I struggled with a group project and couldn't actually deal with the group. I left university to give myself a bit of time and space to think. I returned to university to do a different course, which I ended up getting a degree in. Even during this time, I was slowly taking some steps forward pushing myself, reflecting on my life, analysing myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my behaviours, etc. I came to all sorts of conclusions, so in a way university was the start of my journey as I left home and had to start facing the world and challenges on my own of which it wasn't an easy experience, but looking back on all of this it demonstrates both my resolve and determination to keep going no matter what. I started to find myself in a way though there was still one major issue, I could only view my life through the lens of building a career as everything outside of that was a problem I struggled with. However, I could demonstrate my ability to work and get on with it to a high degree. People and every day life was a far bigger challenge, which is why I focused on work, I could become successful by working hard and moving up in my career as it was the only value I could see in my life. The only thing I seemed to do well at was working hard. I came out of university and got a job in the real world, which was where life took a turn for the worse in a way. The problem I had was a naïve assumption that working hard, ability, etc. would be recognised and valued. I didn't go to work to make friends, I went to work to do my job to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, work presented many challenges with discrimination and abuse in various forms (this was before I was diagnosed). I kept pushing through it, every challenge made me push myself harder, every obstacle made me determined to find a way around it. However, the one issue that could never be dealt with was the wall created around me by the people I worked with who isolated me, excluded me, treated me like dirt, etc. I learnt a lot about the workplace and people in the corporate environment. By the time I was diagnosed I had already had practically everything taken from me in the workplace, they prevented me from gaining skills, knowledge, experience, they kept opportunities away from me, they made sure everything was always against me though I could only assume that for whatever reason they didn't like me even though I was working hard and at times doing a far better job than the management. Maybe I was just seen as a threat that needed to be dealt with. After my diagnosis, I had already been through a long journey of life through reflecting on my experiences, accepting that I was different, analysing myself and taking steps to deal with anxiety. It didn't really have an impact upon me because I knew I was different and had reached a point where I was ok with it. Shortly after my diagnosis, which I will admit I didn't report to work, because I was already fully aware of where I stood in the eyes of management and knew it would make no difference. No matter what supposed legal processes there are in place there is no protection from those who can find ways around the systems, processes and rules to deal with you. That was the type of people they were where I worked. I finally accepted that I was getting nowhere in building a career, competition was tough, I was lacking in skills, knowledge, experience, etc. because I was prevented from gaining any. I was more qualified than some of the managers through undertaking professional exams, which I got no help with. It was made clear to me through what was going on that I was not wanted there, except to simply do as I was told by the management as I was kept where they wanted me kept, so I ended up walking out fully aware that I had no idea what may happen next. They didn't think I would and I got support from my family for the decision I took. I had to sell my flat and move back in with family, which hasn't been easy to deal with. Now, as I said about the help I would need at a point in my life, my diagnosis helped give me access to some services that helped me get my next job, although only part time and minimum wage but I have found a job I enjoy working with people who are understanding and supportive, who recognise my value and acknowledge the hard work I put into the job. They say they would like to do more for me but they are a small organisation with limited resources and mainly run by volunteers. As for everything else, my life, my experiences, my self reflection, my analysing myself, etc. all brought me to a point where my diagnosis had counted for very little at 32 because the most difficult years of my struggles and my journey had been before then and I had come to accept myself for who I was as an individual.

Did things start to make sense?

In a way. It was only through my nephew getting a diagnosis as a child that my sister picked up on the symptoms/behaviours and made me aware of it. I wasn't aware of it until then, which shows that there's still a lot of work to do on increasing awareness. My sister then helped push for a diagnosis, which was done privately with funding provided from family. It helped explain a few things but as I've already said, by the time I was diagnosed, it didn't have the greatest impact on me. It just helped fill in some of the detail.

Did you do things differently as you were more aware?

No, because again, the diagnosis had little impact on me. I had already come to terms with my differences and didn't really care what others thought any more. I had given up on the idea of fitting in and belonging when all I needed to do was be myself and it was a problem for others if they couldn't accept me.

As for telling work colleagues, you'll more than likely know if it's right to tell them. There were some colleagues I could and did tell but as I already knew the situation with management I saw no point in telling anyone else as it wouldn't have changed anything. By that point I was already making plans to leave anyway, even if it meant leaving without another job to go to. If you had been there you'd understand. Now, like I say to others, life is tough especially the transition from education to the real world of work but if there's one thing that helped prepare me for the workplace it was the years of bullying and abuse I grew up with. I was already used to it but I saw others have breakdowns from what was going on who were there one day and gone the next. The world still has a long way to go to change for the better.

Did Diagnosis help?

I suppose that depends on what you mean in terms of 'help'. Through that label, it helped me gain access to support I needed at that point in my life. To put it into context, I was diagnosed at 32. Sure, childhood was tough, I had my issues, but obviously there was a lack of understanding and awareness combined with the fact that my parents were also having their own problems to deal with. I was just seen as shy and having developmental problems. Growing up, I struggled, didn't fit in, was obviously different and I probably wasn't fully able to understand everything I was going through in my earlier years. School was a terrible experience in lots of ways but I focused on getting an education under the assumption that as long as I worked hard and got results I could move on from that place, leave all the people behind that made my life hell, and finally get on with life away from them. Of course I understood I was different and spent a lot of time trying to work out how to fit in, clearly it was never going to happen, and I never did fit in. I came to accept the fact that I was different and didn't fit in. I went off to university, which was also a struggle in lots of ways but I pushed myself to be able to get on with things. However, I struggled with a group project and couldn't actually deal with the group. I left university to give myself a bit of time and space to think. I returned to university to do a different course, which I ended up getting a degree in. Even during this time, I was slowly taking some steps forward pushing myself, reflecting on my life, analysing myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my behaviours, etc. I came to all sorts of conclusions, so in a way university was the start of my journey as I left home and had to start facing the world and challenges on my own of which it wasn't an easy experience, but looking back on all of this it demonstrates both my resolve and determination to keep going no matter what. I started to find myself in a way though there was still one major issue, I could only view my life through the lens of building a career as everything outside of that was a problem I struggled with. However, I could demonstrate my ability to work and get on with it to a high degree. People and every day life was a far bigger challenge, which is why I focused on work, I could become successful by working hard and moving up in my career as it was the only value I could see in my life. The only thing I seemed to do well at was working hard. I came out of university and got a job in the real world, which was where life took a turn for the worse in a way. The problem I had was a naïve assumption that working hard, ability, etc. would be recognised and valued. I didn't go to work to make friends, I went to work to do my job to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, work presented many challenges with discrimination and abuse in various forms (this was before I was diagnosed). I kept pushing through it, every challenge made me push myself harder, every obstacle made me determined to find a way around it. However, the one issue that could never be dealt with was the wall created around me by the people I worked with who isolated me, excluded me, treated me like dirt, etc. I learnt a lot about the workplace and people in the corporate environment. By the time I was diagnosed I had already had practically everything taken from me in the workplace, they prevented me from gaining skills, knowledge, experience, they kept opportunities away from me, they made sure everything was always against me though I could only assume that for whatever reason they didn't like me even though I was working hard and at times doing a far better job than the management. Maybe I was just seen as a threat that needed to be dealt with. After my diagnosis, I had already been through a long journey of life through reflecting on my experiences, accepting that I was different, analysing myself and taking steps to deal with anxiety. It didn't really have an impact upon me because I knew I was different and had reached a point where I was ok with it. Shortly after my diagnosis, which I will admit I didn't report to work, because I was already fully aware of where I stood in the eyes of management and knew it would make no difference. No matter what supposed legal processes there are in place there is no protection from those who can find ways around the systems, processes and rules to deal with you. That was the type of people they were where I worked. I finally accepted that I was getting nowhere in building a career, competition was tough, I was lacking in skills, knowledge, experience, etc. because I was prevented from gaining any. I was more qualified than some of the managers through undertaking professional exams, which I got no help with. It was made clear to me through what was going on that I was not wanted there, except to simply do as I was told by the management as I was kept where they wanted me kept, so I ended up walking out fully aware that I had no idea what may happen next. They didn't think I would and I got support from my family for the decision I took. I had to sell my flat and move back in with family, which hasn't been easy to deal with. Now, as I said about the help I would need at a point in my life, my diagnosis helped give me access to some services that helped me get my next job, although only part time and minimum wage but I have found a job I enjoy working with people who are understanding and supportive, who recognise my value and acknowledge the hard work I put into the job. They say they would like to do more for me but they are a small organisation with limited resources and mainly run by volunteers. As for everything else, my life, my experiences, my self reflection, my analysing myself, etc. all brought me to a point where my diagnosis had counted for very little at 32 because the most difficult years of my struggles and my journey had been before then and I had come to accept myself for who I was as an individual.

Did things start to make sense?

In a way. It was only through my nephew getting a diagnosis as a child that my sister picked up on the symptoms/behaviours and made me aware of it. I wasn't aware of it until then, which shows that there's still a lot of work to do on increasing awareness. My sister then helped push for a diagnosis, which was done privately with funding provided from family. It helped explain a few things but as I've already said, by the time I was diagnosed, it didn't have the greatest impact on me. It just helped fill in some of the detail.

Did you do things differently as you were more aware?

No, because again, the diagnosis had little impact on me. I had already come to terms with my differences and didn't really care what others thought any more. I had given up on the idea of fitting in and belonging when all I needed to do was be myself and it was a problem for others if they couldn't accept me.

As for telling work colleagues, you'll more than likely know if it's right to tell them. There were some colleagues I could and did tell but as I already knew the situation with management I saw no point in telling anyone else as it wouldn't have changed anything. By that point I was already making plans to leave anyway, even if it meant leaving without another job to go to. If you had been there you'd understand. Now, like I say to others, life is tough especially the transition from education to the real world of work but if there's one thing that helped prepare me for the workplace it was the years of bullying and abuse I grew up with. I was already used to it but I saw others have breakdowns from what was going on who were there one day and gone the next. The world still has a long way to go to change for the better.

Thanks to everyone who replied.  Had what should have been the final assessment last Friday, but we didn't get through all the questions so I need to go back again in September to complete it, either with the same worker or with the psychologist (though I was told not to read too much in to which one it was).  I thought it went quite well, felt quite relaxed during the questions, and managed to answer most of them.  Will update once I know more but really appreciate others taking the time to let me know their experience.  This has helped me put things in perspective, and made me less nervous about the after-diagnosis (or not!) period