Coping with anxiety every single day

I have recently been diagnosed with autism and I am in my 40s. I have suffered from anxiety all of my life and before I knew about the autism, I have had several courses of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). This has helped me with my social anxiety which is now not as bad as it used to be.

However, every since I was a child I have suffered from anxiety. It is worse in the morning when I often wake up feeling sick with anxiety. As I go through the day it does get better. Sometimes I feel very low levels of anxiety and at other times I can be extremely anxious for weeks at a time. I am often worrying about something that is going to happen later that day or even in a few weeks' time - for example a meeting I have to do, people I have to talk to, somewhere unfamiliar that I am going or just general uncertainty about what is going to happen next in my life.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who feels the same as I feel that I am quite alone. I have a job and a partner but the anxiety makes me very tired a lot of time time and it is difficult to live with. Does anyone have any good tips on how to manage chronic anxiety? 

People around me don't understand why I get so anxious. They are supportive but I think they probably can't imagine how I actually feel and what a burden it is to feel anxious a lot of the time. It takes the enjoyment out of life. The times that I feel less anxious are when I am with people I know doing something planned or familiar. For example, I love going to the cinema and I always feel great when I watch films. 

Any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you.

Parents
  • Hi Andrew, I am new here and am awaiting what I hope will be the final part of my autism assessment next week.  I am mid 40s and I think our experiences sound very similar.  I am married and have two children, my wife is wonderful in helping me understand my situation, and helping me to deal with others. 

    No matter how good a mood I am in when I go to bed, I wake up with the same feelings of anxiety, emptiness and worry that fortunately do seem to improve as the day goes on (or more probably when there is less of the day left to make it through).  If I have a particular worry this is much more acute, and takes precedence over everything else, is always there with me and is something I cannot shut off from.  On the odd occasions that I speak to people about my worries, I do generally feel better afterwards, but again this is short lived.  I don't take anything for anxiety, and in the past have been prescribed anti-depressants (though wonder now whether I had real depression, or whether it was something autism linked?).  I have never had a problem coming off these, and usually after a few months of going through a horrendous few weeks as they "got into my system", then a period of stability, I have decided to come off them, and done so with no problems, just one day I take them, next day I stop.

    Having a partner you can talk to is fantastic and a great step in managing the feelings you have, though sometimes there are things that sound too weird to talk about.  I manage to mask a lot of this at work, but am exhausted when I come home, and take the mask off.  When you are worrying about things, do you find you are planning multiple scenarios and possible outcomes?

Reply
  • Hi Andrew, I am new here and am awaiting what I hope will be the final part of my autism assessment next week.  I am mid 40s and I think our experiences sound very similar.  I am married and have two children, my wife is wonderful in helping me understand my situation, and helping me to deal with others. 

    No matter how good a mood I am in when I go to bed, I wake up with the same feelings of anxiety, emptiness and worry that fortunately do seem to improve as the day goes on (or more probably when there is less of the day left to make it through).  If I have a particular worry this is much more acute, and takes precedence over everything else, is always there with me and is something I cannot shut off from.  On the odd occasions that I speak to people about my worries, I do generally feel better afterwards, but again this is short lived.  I don't take anything for anxiety, and in the past have been prescribed anti-depressants (though wonder now whether I had real depression, or whether it was something autism linked?).  I have never had a problem coming off these, and usually after a few months of going through a horrendous few weeks as they "got into my system", then a period of stability, I have decided to come off them, and done so with no problems, just one day I take them, next day I stop.

    Having a partner you can talk to is fantastic and a great step in managing the feelings you have, though sometimes there are things that sound too weird to talk about.  I manage to mask a lot of this at work, but am exhausted when I come home, and take the mask off.  When you are worrying about things, do you find you are planning multiple scenarios and possible outcomes?

Children