Social services/Family Court - anyone have a +ve experience

Hi Ken, find an advocate, have you 'spoken ' to the  help people at NAS? Telephone: 0808 800 4104
Helpline opening hours: Monday-Thursday 10am-4pm, Friday 9am-3pm (excluding Bank holidays)

Legally they are not allowed to discriminate against you, but it would appear that you are right. Without including the autism you are at a huge disadvantage because you are male. It appears to me that you as a male can do nothing right. Sorry 

The courts have moved on a long way from half. Kids come first. whoever has kids gets their needs met in full. If they need a home they get it. Given that most people don't live in a home significantly bigger then their needs that means all the housing assets go to the mother usually. given house prices most people with kids don't have large saving or pension pots so father gets nothing as pot empty.

The whole system has been skewed in best interests of kids. utterly mad as kids only exist because of parents but that's what our MPs want. the result is loads of fatherless children as the father has no means of spending quality time with children. i won't be treated as a third rate parent by anyone.

of course judge claims both partners are equal and not sexist. then magically decides mother has better parenting skills, on basis of no real evidence, and there you go mothers win. blatant sexism as there is no difference in parenting between males and females in my opinion. different styles of parenting but no one can say which is better

add in my autism and I don't stand a chance. i am presented as unstable and a risk in case I have a meltdown or behave in some other unusual way. every time i have been angry or annoyed is dragged up as evidence. no one is perfect and given an element of doubt the judge takes the easy option and rules against me. that is the very basis of discrimination and it is impossible to challenge unless you have been a saint!  

remember family court rulings are private. so it never makes the press, or very rarely. family court judges hate the idea of publicity. they don't want their bias and mistakes out in the open. it isn't an easy job. however, no one should be able to hide in the way judges are allowed to do. what is the best interests of a child? it is variable and dependent on the child so judges can do what they want?

having been a stay at home dad  I have seen some appalling behaviour by mothers but it never gets picked up on. of course as a man I pick up complaints that are taken seriously and investigated then dismissed. grooming is the best one. as I played with my son in playgroup. i was allegedly grooming the other children there by playing with them as well if they joined in. of course six months after kids left playgroup and went to school didn't remember me if saw them at park but still had three such allegations by single mothers,

the best example I know of, but not family court, is a trainee male primary teacher. a child in his class made some sexual references at school. trainee, alone, was immediately suspended on basis he might have told child the info. months later it was resolved and it was an issue in the pupil's home. trainee was suspended all that time. do you really think a female trainee teacher would have been suspended? says it all. men can't safely be around children. Cliff Richard case only the latest example. can you name male celebrities accused of sex abuse that were found guilty and those not. mud sticks and it is best to run a mile!

another public example are parents who had their 4 children forcibly adopted as kept getting broken bones. it continued after the kids were adopted and eventually a brittle bone condition diagnosed. the parents were cleared but they never saw their children again, as "best interests" of child were to stay with adopted parents. i bet the parents don't feel their reputation was restored by that! what was the right outcome? who knows

I have no experience of family courts, positive or negative.

Ken1414 said:

Domestic abuse of a man is not recognised by police. 

I don't think this is true in general. Domestic violence is an offence. It may be hard to prove without medical reports from the time though.

Ken1414 said:

it seems the Family Court isn;t covered by Equality Act

In respect of sex, or of disability? It shouldn't discriminate as regards either.

Ken1414 said:

I have to prove I am not a risk. If I argue with social worker over my wife's version of events I am unstable and denying the truth that I am an abuser!

So it seems a decision has been made, and you need to appeal against that? There's a distinction between being 'unstable' and 'an abuser', but you may need to show you are neither. It will be important to understand the basis of the decision.

Ken1414 said:

i will lose my home, life savings the lot. All because I am autistic

I can't quite see what it has to do with you being autistic. Is it your problems dealing with authorities? Do you need a advocate (as distinct from a solicitor)?

If you divorced would you end up with half, or has the court ruled differently? (As I say, I obviously know nothing about family courts.)

Anyway, I wanted to post two helplines for male victims of domestic violence:

Respect: 0808 801 0327
ManKind: 01823 334244 (don't know much about, but had coverage in Telegraph)