My son wont accept help

Hi everyone, my name is Louise and I live with my son David who is 29.

im new on here so apologies if this subject has already been discussed, there's a lot of stuff to look at.

David has never accepted his autism diagnosis and thinks that he can manage without help, but left to his own devices he does nothing. He won't engage with his GP, social worker and various other organisations that have been involved. I have been told that as he is over 18 and deemed to 'have capacity' to make his own decisions that nothing can be done. David is depressed and takes his anger and frustration out on me every day. I have health problems and suffer from depression and anxiety as a result.

Has anyone else had this problem and did they find a way round it'?

thanks in advance 

Louise

Parents
  • Sorry this sounds so hard. So would you say motivation is the problem? Is he working?

    Would he be at all interested in a peer support group for depression, rather than for autism?

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/peer-support-directory/

    I hope other parents can contribute here. If you add 'tags' to the post, it may be easier to find.

  • Hi Cassandro, David won't accept help for autism or depression. He does has a job,but the placement is breaking down as he won't get out of bed to attend. He won't see his GP and when his social worker visited yesterday, he ran off.

    thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it 

  • I'm still wondering why he's resisting the diagnosis or help. Could it be that he is ashamed of it? Or does he not relate the help offered to the way he thinks of his life problems? Or does he just not get on with any of the professionals?

    I don't know anything about you, your son, or your relationship, but I am autistic. Maybe he's afraid of the future, or can't visualise a good one for himself. As his mum you're probably already doing this, but can you help him visualise a realistic future that he would like?

  • Hi Louise, this is just a thought and you may of already tried this but, if he wants to go to uni, talk about which subject he would want to study, ask questions about it like, why he wants to study this subject, engage in a positive way about it and then suggest that he can get some help to attend uni. This may mean sitting GCSE or A-Levels but its a positive start to accepting help for something he wants to achieve.

    Liz x

Reply
  • Hi Louise, this is just a thought and you may of already tried this but, if he wants to go to uni, talk about which subject he would want to study, ask questions about it like, why he wants to study this subject, engage in a positive way about it and then suggest that he can get some help to attend uni. This may mean sitting GCSE or A-Levels but its a positive start to accepting help for something he wants to achieve.

    Liz x

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