Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone. I'm writing this in the hopes that some of you may have been in a similar situation and found a way out. I feel so alone but I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have any friends anymore, I haven't for years now. My routine for the last 2 1/2 years has been go to work, come home and play the xbox or watch netflix. Go to bed, wake up and do it all again. I brothers that ocassionally play with me, but they have their own lives and do their own things too. The only people I do have are my immediate family but because i'm around them so much I feel like i'm always sick of their company. I can't reqlly go out and do things unless they will aswell, because of my anxiety it is hard to go and do things on my own. Can you see my problem? I'm either on my own or with family but feel like I need to be away from them at thr same time. I attend a social group that hasn't been going too well. And i've tried online dating or looking for events but they all cost. It seems like anything I want to try to be more social costs money. Money that i'm reluctant to spend as I'd probably pay for a dating event and be too anxious to show up. I just don't know what to do anymore
Hi Dean,
I know exactly how you feel as I have been there myself and still am sometimes. All through my school life I didn’t have any friends and felt left out from everything. Any effort that I made felt wasted because when people found out I had Aspergers they stopped being friends with me. It has taken me until my second year of uni to find what I consider to be my true friends- over 15 years.
I have tried many things from support groups to reading books, but in the end what helped me the most was a combination of CBT coupled with this book that my psychologist recommended I read. I’m not suggesting that you have to have, or for that matter need CBT, but just in case you feel you want to give the book a go it is called :Asperkids guide to the secret unwritten social rules. I found it really helpful and for me, it was learning more about how NTs think and putting those unwritten rules into play when I went to uni that has meant that I now find it easier to make friends.
As I got older and learnt these rules I started to care much less about other people and what they thought. Sometimes it can still be hard, and don’t get me wrong, I do still find it hard when people “walk away” from me as it is very hurtful, but if that happens to you just try to see it as their loss and that those people are not worth you time. From my experience, real friends don’t betray you and are true to their word and like you for who you are. I’m sure you will find good friends-keep persevering!