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Can’t speak.

Lellynelly

I am 52 and have been diagnosed very recently. I am still in the process of working out which of my traits are due to autism and which are just me. I am a member of mensa, (although I failed school completely) I am articulate (when writing, not necessarily when speaking) and I have been in my job of supporting teenagers with maths in a complex needs school for 16 years. Yesterday I was very stressed and by the end of the day when someone spoke to me, it’s hard to explain, but I just could not respond. I struggled to process what they were saying and literally just did not know what to say and therefore couldnt speak. I ended up shrugging my shoulders in silence and walking away. This has happened to me many times before when stressed. Can anyone else relate? Is this a nt thing? Or an autistic thing?

  • I'm 51, newly diagnosed and I can relate to what you have experienced.  I messed up school but have just found out I have a very high IQ. I am usually articulate when speaking but on occasion I end up mouthing like a goldfish, I just can't respond.  It seems to happen when I'm stressed, usually with sensory or information overload.  It's hard to explain but even if I take in what is being said, multiple responses crowd my brain and the effort of trying to communicate all of the options to the other person is just too much.  I'm trying not to blame everything on  autism but since diagnosis I feel that my life makes sense at last.  I'm gradually "coming out" as an aspie and the relief of accepting that I'm different to nt's is immense.  I no longer waste time and effort wondering why I'm different - I celebrate it.  I doubt I'll get back in to education now but I love to read so am finding out as much as I can about autism, particularly in females diagnosed later in life.  As an aside I have always been drawn to people with special needs, particularly autism, working with them for many years in a voluntary capacity.  Wordy answer but in short, yes, I think the can't speak scenario may well be an autism thing.

  • A Forum like this is useful, sometimes or often. I was once told by someone here that, sometimes when too much is said (as if in reply), even when one is paying full attention, then sometimes what is heard is gobbledegook. This is both scary and annoying. Even if I ask them to repeat what was said...!

  • Overwhelmed, too much sensory information, too much being processed your ASC self waves a little white flag and NOTHING can be said. 

    Until you’ve had some recovery time. 

    As Cassandro and Graham both allude to , sometimes you just can’t see the conversation rules and know how you are expected to reply.

    i have difficulty speaking, they also have difficulty hearing and impact accessing what is going on.

  • I can relate, a bit.  Sounds very much like an autistic thing to me, thinking of many autistic people I know. I imagine an NT thing might be to shout or cry or let it out to the other person.

    With me if I'm put 'on the spot', it's all too much to process and retreating can be the best thing to do. As a child, I'd often mumble or sometimes my response was 'what do you want me to say?' because I really didn't know what someone wanted from me.