Burnout & Physiological symptoms

Hi,

 Still struggling to understand myself, burnout is something I have struggled with, or at least I think it's that. Happened for me really badly when there was a lot of family drama heavy social stuff going on for me. For me I just ceased to function properly, I didn't know what it was then, or that it was Autism related, I just ceased to function, I couldn't explain to people. I said a lot of things like "I'm just not firing on all cylinders at the moment" or "my batteries have just run out" I would often shake, my hands would frequently go numb, I had chest pains. Though I kept masking this, unsure why, long bad habits probably. Mentally I just couldn't, I could function logically, but not really feel much of anything except exhaustion and the desperate need for a break, I think I probably looked very blank, I kept trying to retreat to get space for myself. My then partner I think decided I didn't care, I told him I was struggling but I don't think he could hear me because I couldn't show it. Just couldn't. I kept moving it was literally life or death for people I cared about so I kept forcing myself on, kept making me worse, I got less and less able to even think of logically I was just exhausted, desperately needed everything to stop for a while. I still can't explain it well but I have found an article that describes things better than I am able:

http://www.theautisticadvocate.com/2018/05/an-autistic-burnout.html?m=1

That really helped me with it, to understand. It didn't stop for me even past that point carried on for several months but I did get through. And I am trying to leanr to try to make sure to take the time when needed and what that means for me. I am sure you can get through too, I am sorry your struggling, I hope things get easier for you in whatever your journey is

After reading that (thank you so much for sharing) I’ve realised I’m probably in a burn out stage right now, and I’ve been completely stressing over the fact that all of my heightened autistic symptoms are showing more because I’m waiting for an assessment, so I’ve been beating myself up “is it psychosomatic” etc because every time I read something that describes it it’s literally me and I’m happy I’ve discovered it and then I’m worried I’m not going to get any help because I mask so well so might not get a diagnosis. I’ve heard horror stories where a kid went into their assessment, looked at the assessor because they made a noise when they walked in, then were immediately judged not autistic because they “made eye contact” even if they didn’t for the rest of the time! All my traits are getting worse and reading that article makes me think I’m actually in burnout as this has happened before to varying degrees, but I didn’t recognise it then as what it was, I thought I was just physically ill 

After reading that (thank you so much for sharing) I’ve realised I’m probably in a burn out stage right now, and I’ve been completely stressing over the fact that all of my heightened autistic symptoms are showing more because I’m waiting for an assessment, so I’ve been beating myself up “is it psychosomatic” etc because every time I read something that describes it it’s literally me and I’m happy I’ve discovered it and then I’m worried I’m not going to get any help because I mask so well so might not get a diagnosis. I’ve heard horror stories where a kid went into their assessment, looked at the assessor because they made a noise when they walked in, then were immediately judged not autistic because they “made eye contact” even if they didn’t for the rest of the time! All my traits are getting worse and reading that article makes me think I’m actually in burnout as this has happened before to varying degrees, but I didn’t recognise it then as what it was, I thought I was just physically ill