Coping With an Event - Any Tips?

Agreed ~ we don’t have the perfect world - yet, of course we will when we’re in charge ;) but until then, we must take the rough with the smooth but when we have our focus in the right place, the rough is barely noticeable, enabling us to enjoy the things we would like to take part in with the minimal or with the least amount of distress. 

Just to add something else, stemming from some recent experiences of mine, not only have I started to focus on the benefit I’ll get from the event, as suggested above (it actually works as a great motivator [for me] and it lessens the stress a little), but I have also started to take time to prepare for before, during and after the event. For example (and I’m sure that this will change and adapt over time), but for now, because I love going to coffee shops and drinking cappuccino, whenever I leave my house, I make sure I fit a cappuccino in there somewhere and also take as much time as I need both before and after the event, to process it all and instead of thinking I’m such a failure because it can take me days or weeks to process some things, I now feel proud of myself that I did what I wanted to do despite the fear and slowly, I’m finding these situations less daunting and more inviting. I’m definitely going to get some noise cancelling headphones though as soon as I can and I love wearing dark sunglasses and after reading the comments, I think I’m going to get a hat as well. I already walk around in wellies, come rain or shine, I might as well add something else into the mix and maybe I’ll look so bizarre people might leave me alone but just for good measure, and just because I want to, I’m gonna get the f**k off I’m autistic tshirt as well!! That should do it ;) 

I think that's a very important point. Finding something stressful or fatiguing doesn't mean that it is devoid of worthwhile social engagement, satisfaction or even some enjoyment. Finding ways to manage and minimise the negatives can drastically change how we weigh up the pros and cons when deciding, on balance, whether or not to participate in something. As with finances, psychological costs can sometimes be budgeted so that we're better able to make the most of what we've got.

I'm going because I can't not go. It's a compulsion. Hard to understand without a long explanation (and possibly not even then) but I'd be very upset with myself if I didn't go. I had the same thing when meeting Charlie Duke (one of the Apollo moon walkers) and going to see the Soyuz spaceship Tim Peake rode back to Earth in. I'd never have forgiven myself if I didn't. Your advice is helpful, though. I'll focus on what I'll get out of it rather than the pain of actually being there, so thank you.

The event is being held near me and wherever you go is full of scallies so not useful for this, but a really great idea for other places I go, thank you. From now on I'll remember to find a a sanctuary if there is one.

You say you know you are going to go into a state of panic at this event. Thus you are preparing yourself to feel that way (i.e. it is a self-fulfilling propecy). I'm not trying to minimise your discomfort at all, but perhaps the thing to do would be to focus on the positive aspects of going to the event. You are going to the festival, so obviously you want to go to it and plan to enjoy it. Try to focus on that particular aspect of attending, rather than the crowds and such. Perhaps if you enjoy yourself enough, you'll never even notice the unpleasant stuff. Sometimes we simply have to accept the bad with the good. On the other hand, if you know you aren't going to enjoy the festival at all, then why are you going to it?

Hi Hathor,

I avoid such events as much as possible - which, nowadays, means pretty much all the time.  I hate to have to say it, but I think the only way I could face such a thing now is if I either have some form of tranquilisers, like Diazepam... or if I can have some drink with me.  It needn't be much.  A couple of glasses of wine, maybe.  Otherwise, I'd simply be too anxious.  It's not really a strategy I'd advise, though.

All good advice given so far.  Another thing I would do is to see if there is a quiet park, library, museum etc. nearby that you can use as a refuge if you're starting to feel overwhelmed. That way, I'll tackle an event in a series of short bursts separated by moments of peace. If I'm ever out at a pub, I'll use the outdoor smoking area in the same way if there is one (or failing that, a cubicle in the toilets!) I find that even knowing in advance that there is a sanctuary nearby help me to keep my anxiety under control.

Thank you. I love the idea of the tshirt. I'd not thought of having something like a fidget spinner to dieflect my stress so I appreciate that idea. I'll make sure my mp3 is fully charged, too, as I use that instead of earplugs.

I experience the same I tend to just avoid all together but if I really must go earplugs are essential to drown out all the noise, so much noise at these places, also I have things in my pockets to fiddle with, like a finger spinner, a soft toy or some marbles and always somethings to eat and drink to distract me from all the people around me. Sunglasses and a baseball also help to avoid all eye contact as it’s the eye contact generally that attracts people to conversation. And if all this fails a t shirt with I’m autistic now f**k off does the trick... hope this helps and good luck