Life Outside Work

Hi there. Yup I kind of agree, but it depends what you call life? I do all my socialising at work. There are some people there I would consider my friends but I would never see them outside of work. I have often said to people ‘i dont have any friends’ which sounds kinda sad, but what I mean by that is that there is no-one I would meet up with outside of work. Apart from one other woman who I have been friends with since we were 9 (I’m now 52) I go to hers occasionally. Outside of work I sit alone, watch tv, play the piano, go on Facebook, go Geocaching, eat and sleep. That is my life

I feel like I have no life outside of work.

I feel the same as you. While I do enjoy being alone and spending time in bed, I also feel that having some bit of social life would be enjoyable, as it would give life more variety. Maybe not too much social life as that would be overly tiring, but just a bit, like the spices in a dish. But I find that it seems difficult to have any close friends or to make plans with people this way, because when compared to most people you socialise less regularly, and therefore may be at the lower end of their friends list. They would have more interesting things to do or other people to go out with than someone they only see occasionally. And meeting new people is difficult as most people already have some social circle of their own.

So, are you also having the same problem? You think you might enjoy a bit of social life, but find it difficult to achieve?

Same, socialising and social gatherings were always obligations rather than something I did to relax and I avoid as many as possible of them now. 

I don't know about others here but when I was working in my free time I slept, ate, walked and read. I don't enjoy social gatherings so mostly I don't do them.

I agree with others that you need to figure out what makes you happy and then plan those activities into your future time off. If I had a full week off and spent it in bed I'd feel depressed by the end of the week as I do need contact with others. I'm just about to relocate to a new area so am starting to contact volunteer places and am signing up for a number of sewing courses to help me to make friends that I'll be able to see at a weekend and when I'm off. I'm also planning on signing up for internet dating.

An ideal week off for me is a day out with a friend (spa, shopping, theatre), the rest doing my own thing (sewing, watching tv etc) then at a weekend seeing the OH (when I find a new one) including possibly going on a bike ride and to the cinema.

I don't know? It's what people do when they've got free time?

You said that you feel like you should make plans with people, but you you WANT to?

I can relate to that. I'm about to head to the office on Bank Holiday Monday (although that doesn't usually happen). Weekends can get lonely.

My suggestion is to keep trying to make plans, or just contact people for a chat. Even if it doesn't work out in the near future, they may know you want to meet and fix something later on. Keep trying new stuff too, with or without friends, like Meetup.com or things you might be interested in.