Bullying - With Experience

Greetings. This is one of those Threads which I have been meaning to start for a very very long time. Adults and "People with Children" are welcome to Post and/or "Vent", equally. Please feel free to write anything... and if you can, end it with some resolution/positve hindsight/result.

This is a bad Topic, which I am fed up of seeing sidelined or not fully discussed. "Being Bullied At School" is/was also actually a part of the "Diagnostic Criteria" for ASCs! Please share here experiences, and how you did or would have dealt with them. The more shared, I honestly believe, the more is learnt, if this is is discussed openly and without reservation, Thank You.

I shall begin with only a few things. Advice for dealing with Bullies includes "Ignoring them" and "Laughing them away". This advice does not work, as they either give chase, or they think that Bullying is being *enjoyed* by ALL concerned! 

Thanks for any replies in advance.

Parents
  • When I was at school I was bullied a lot, verbally and often physically, especially at primary school. It wasn't just me, there was a roving "gang" of several bullies who would pick on any easy target, individually or collectively, mostly on smaller children and loners. There wasn't much supervision on the playground, only one teacher, and she had to patrol a large area. It was easy for them to corner their intended victim until she had moved out of sight. I realise it would have been possible to call for help, but at the time I (or whoever it was) was under threat of even worse to come if we didn't keep quiet.

    Advice such as "ignore them" was worse than useless. The bullies often actually sought us out, and could run faster than me. "Talk to them" was also useless, they weren't in a listening mood. Threatening to tell the teacher did, indeed, often provoke more of the same. The worst punishment the teachers were willing to inflict was suspension, but it didn't deter the really hard core bullies. Their parents didn't care much, and I remember some actually boasting that to get a day or two off school they just had to beat someone up.

    In the absence of any better ideas, I got very good at hiding, and at climbing trees right to the top. But the only permanent solution I ever found was to grow up and leave the school.

Reply
  • When I was at school I was bullied a lot, verbally and often physically, especially at primary school. It wasn't just me, there was a roving "gang" of several bullies who would pick on any easy target, individually or collectively, mostly on smaller children and loners. There wasn't much supervision on the playground, only one teacher, and she had to patrol a large area. It was easy for them to corner their intended victim until she had moved out of sight. I realise it would have been possible to call for help, but at the time I (or whoever it was) was under threat of even worse to come if we didn't keep quiet.

    Advice such as "ignore them" was worse than useless. The bullies often actually sought us out, and could run faster than me. "Talk to them" was also useless, they weren't in a listening mood. Threatening to tell the teacher did, indeed, often provoke more of the same. The worst punishment the teachers were willing to inflict was suspension, but it didn't deter the really hard core bullies. Their parents didn't care much, and I remember some actually boasting that to get a day or two off school they just had to beat someone up.

    In the absence of any better ideas, I got very good at hiding, and at climbing trees right to the top. But the only permanent solution I ever found was to grow up and leave the school.

Children