Hubby won't compliment me

Hi all, I've deleted my text as I'm worried about the sensitivity of it. Please can you all delete the sections where you've taken quotes? Many thanks.

  • I know it's the other way round, but I don't think I have ever told my husband he looks nice, he just looks like him. He would look like the man i love whatever he was wearing,  I would be telling a lie if I said on a random day ' you look nice' 

    As far as sex goes i can't help you there sorry.

  • Well i’m very pleased to hear that you are very much in love....

    do you know what triggers the block?

    is it compliment enough to know that he loves you? Or, are the compliments just to reinforce your own self esteem? Do you compliment him? If so, how does he respond to that? 

    you say that even hugging can be tense.. have you explained that its just a hug, or a cuddle and not the potential alarm bells of “crikey I’m being asked to perform!..panic, anxiety, shut down...arrrrrgh!

    Is he panicing about the consequences if he is unable to “perform”.. is he worried he might lose you? He may also have his own anxieties about getting older? 

    With ASD it can be difficult to read peoples intentions and desires...and although clear verbal requests can be rather “unsexy” sometimes it helps to say “can you hold me?”

    Btw... i’m crap at relationships! Lol

  • Hi, I know he's worried about performance and I said we could just have fun getting to know our bodies again. I'm not sure of mine too! He was open to that, but I'm not sure how to initiate it without making him block.

    We are deeply in love. That's for sure. And I thank my lucky stars every day for him. Sometimes he smiles at me with so much love it makes my knees go weak. No issues there.

    Do I stop worrying about his not complimenting me and just get on with looking nice? It does hurt though.

  • Hi Alex

    have you any idea about how he feels about your relationship? It might be performance anxiety and pure terror that he might get it wrong in regard to the whole relationship and not just in the bedroom?

    ellie 

1 2