Therapy for Autistic Behaviour?

Apparently I'm to have a 'course' of six - eight group sessions to "help me come to terms with" my diagnosis and to "teach" me about autism. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this and don't really know what to expect from it but I'm willing to give it a shot. Mainly because I've complained long and loud about the lack of services re. autism in my area and feel that when they finally get around to providing this service, the least I can do is give it a chance. 

I'm dubious that this proposed course will be able to provide me with anywhere near as much (or as useful) information as I've found on this forum. The professionals who will be giving this course are currently in training for it (as I sort of have been too with all of the research I've done since diagnosis) and I suspect they'll probably know just about the same as me when the time comes but I'm willing to give it a try, give it the benefit of the doubt. The worst that can happen is that I won't find it useful, although I am a little concerned at the idea of group sessions. (Okay, more than "a little" concerned!)    

lol

Yuck! "groups"!  Worse! "groups of NEW people" . . . 

You shall have to get on and bare it now you've complained LOL ;)  That will teach you . . . he he ;)

No, all jokes aside, I went on one about ADHD and it was deplorable. The title of if was ADHD and ADD something or other.  I pointed out that ADHD has not been called ADD since 1987.  I don't like disorder, classifying or grouping things incorrectly.  It's very difficult for me and that set me off straight away! Ha!

It also made wonder what they actually knew if the title of the group was so terribly flawed and hadn't been called ADD for 20 years.  Experts talking in a group would surely know this?  They lost me with the title.  I was long gone! lol

But if you go with the attitude of perhaps co-educating rather than expecting a revelation on Autism imparted by a neurotypical person then it might be useful if not for you then for them!  Though that kind of defeats the object I accept.

I agree this forum is by far the most useful place for me to get the 'real deal'.

I love this forum.  I'm so scared I'm going to go for my Autism assessment and be told that I'm not autistic now.  I shall be devastated if that happens now.  The waiting is unbearable.

xx

Hopefully you wont have to wait too long to find out, it seems to vary a lot across the country. If the result isn't ASD, but you feel you definitely identify with ASD and with people here, there's no reason why you shouldn't still use this forum. There are a lot of self-diagnosed people here too!  

I think it is!

Ha!!  This is what my husband thinks, that it is my latest obsession!! Autism!  

He just ignores me and lets me get on with these things to be honest.

Besides he likes my weirdness, he's a bit weird himself.  I swear he's got 'something' - you couldn't be with me for 10 years and just be totally and completely neurotypical I don't think.

He's never shocked by anything that I do or say!

Thank goodness really!

I too post things on here and think "can I say that" is that "too far" . . .

No one seems to bat an eyelid and the biggest shocker is that people seem to connect and then I think "ok then".  No one thinks this is weird :O 

Like dipping your toe in the water and slowly edging in . . .lol

Is that because they accept and we hyper analyse? 

Thank you all! (Xanadu, @Cloudy Mountains, .) for understanding that   : )   

I agree that much, much more of the real me is coming out in this forum too than with anyone else before. It's partly because you all (lots of people on the forum) seem to just 'get it'. I keep reading other people's posts and relating to them so much it's ... I don't even have the words for it!

It's a little scary but also liberating to be able to admit all of the wonky mistakes I make, wrong end of the sticks, points I start to make and then can't finish ... I've posted a few things here then thought "No, I can't post that it's too weird." but when I've been brave enough to post it anyway - the world didn't end!!! It's an enormous relief to see others do it too!

With my partner I can be more myself than with anyone else in the real world but there are still some things I wouldn't talk about. Stims for one! He sees them, they don't bother him, but I don't think I could describe to him WHY I do them, not properly anyway. With other 'odd bits' he just says "You're funny." and shakes his head the way I do when the kids do something cute. I think he believes Asperger's is just my latest project to be honest, it's not that he doesn't take it seriously but more that he just accepts it and doesn't see why it would be any more of a life changing thing than if I were to shave off all of my hair or something like that. He's not a man of extremes (thankfully!), there isn't room enough for two like that in this relationship!! 

Where's the 'Stims' thread???

Good points and yes potentially scary epiphanies.

i would love to to talk to my OH about my “core me”... have have tried to do so on many ocassions... I believe the masked self is much more preferred and accepted. This means, you poor sous, that you have to tolerate the “real” me on the forum.

sorry! :) 

No.  I totally get you.  I am the MOST myself with my husband but I still don't talk about the really odd stuff a lot with him.  I put on 'roles' to meet him and get him to 'marry me' and I've slowly revealed the other bits as the years have gone on!

I am not comfortable talking about the 'core me' really with anyone so I totally get what you are saying.  I think I do have 'roles' with him as well but they are lot more authentic.  I think I just need them full stop really for any interaction with anyone!

Nah, it's not a post to worry about! If people are reading who are getting a diagnosis it will help them! I took my ex with me because she was one of the few people who saw me without my masks. I also knew that she had seen me with them on. I was with my ex 10 years but I didn't feel too bad about her being there. We weren't together at the time either. Things might have been different if we were though I get your point. You can kind of hold things back because you don't want things to change.

My finding myself years didn't exist until I'd got that diagnosis. 30 odd years of thinking I was going mad kind of drove me mad!

A diagnosis brought us closure from what I can tell.

I went alone to mine, I'm not in touch with any of my family and my partner and I have only been together 17 years so he didn't know me through the 'finding myself' years (now the search begins again!!)

I'm not sure I could have talked about some of the things (in the way that I did) with my partner there. That sounds bad, obviously I can talk to him but it's different from the WAY I talk to other people somehow - even if the subject matter and content are the same. Aaaarrrgh!!! I can't explain it. ***! Does that mean I mask with him too? I don't FEEL as if I do.

Okaaaaay. So, this is what a post looks like just before I think WTF? and delete it.  

I took my mom and my ex partner because they'd watched me most my life. I wore my usual clothes, I pretty much have a "uniform", lol. The psychologist said she was grateful I'd taken someone with me who was an observer. I said "then you have a metric to work with". She asked me if I was after her job. She asked my mom and ex partner a lot of questions. My mom covered all of the stuff I did as a kid. I didn't like to be touched, I had a traumatic birth (apparently this can be a factor), I had obsessive behaviours, e.t.c. At one point she asked my mom if she ever thought any of it was strange. Mom said "as opposed to what? I've only had one", I couldn't help but laugh. I was pretty ill at the time so I did a lot of rocking.

She asked a lot of questions about my IQ, memory and imagination. The main thing I expressed was my senses. My main problem in my opinion. That and my addictions. I had to be very open. I struggled with it at first but she explained why she had to ask. I managed to get it all out. My mom and ex were great too. She gave me my diagnosis and a few suggestions of how to move forward.

For myself (and maybe Cloudy Mountains if I've read things properly?) I went into the room in my ultra-capable 'Official' mode, my 'here to sort things out and get a straight answer' mode. I had on my 'about town' clothes and even took notes with me in my bag!

It started going to pieces (little inside-the-head freakout) in the waiting room (hate those) but when I got in there and she was equally capable, professional and straight-talking in a sort of 'man-to-man' way, I practically felt myself crumbling. So, it's not that I managed to go into it mask-less (How would I have left the house like that? Travelled there like that? EEEEKKK!!! Does not bear thinking about!) more that they all fell away once I got into the room and started talking. 

Ordinarily (although it's not ordinary at all for me to be out and about as private me) if I find a mask crumbling under scrutiny I simply shut-up or leave. Those weren't options at the assessment and so I was sort of stranded there, kind of. Wanting to do it, fascinated and intrigued about what the assessment might show, but I felt about ten years old again at some points. 

It is very weird! If you can, take time out after it.  

Hahahaha, I don't know but I've got no skin on the toes on my left foot pretty much. It started with a patch of eczema. Now it looks like hamburger meat. I sound so hygenic and presentable, lol. This is getting weird but funny!

Dumbo could fly! If I tried my now deformed, twice as heavy as the other ear, would make me crash to earth with a thump! Oh and another "stim-lite" I have is slyly smelling vinegar. When I'm alone I huff it like an 80's glue addict. Vinegar makes me relaxed, odd thing but yeah. Well at least we can discuss it here!

Too Late! They're both enormous and stick out like Dumbo's. 

Oh my life, I've just googled it - it is a massive thing with Autistic people :O 

:O Please don't tell me picking spots and scabs is part of this?  I do that so much!  I love picking.  Peeling sunburn as well.  I get a real thrill out of it - Oh Yikes, is that part of this as well lol 

I'll start a thread then! "stim-lite" is what I call it. "Extra proof stim with a cappuchino froth" is far more satisfying though! I have a cauliflour ear from a scar I had on my ear that turned into a "stim-lite" spot! Stay away from the ears, lol! If you can!

I'm actually already trying to imagine it in my head, me in the room with the assessor!  Without a role?  Who will I be?  I will be VERY self conscious is what I will be . . .

There is no "role" to whip out in this circumstance?  It will be very very weird!

This is what it feels like Endymion, a bit surreal?  We've so busily buried our 'odd little friend inside' that bringing her into the room to be talked about - is a bit of a shock for her!

I've so desperately tried to be 'normal' and that has been for sooooooooo long.  Talking about it face to face with someone is very odd.

I've not really done it yet.  Only with my husband.  Easy to do it on here anonymously and amongst 'like minded people' but I'd imagine it leaves you feeling a bit exposed and like all the roles you've created for yourself are suddenly "shattered" - so then you are just left with who you are?  Except you are not quite sure who that is in the public domain because she's never really been allowed out.

It is a bit like a "shattering" a kind of re-birth.

I hope I'm not explaining it very badly.  My roles hold a lot of safety.  They are familiar.  Not using them I imagine will feel quite surreal and weird.

I haven't been that odd little person in public since I was a child and I soon learned that she was not very welcome and I so worked hard from about age 10 to cover her up and bury her from the outside world.  Now I've got to undo that?

No wonder you were so tired!

I think you could easily break a record for number of replies if you were to post a new thread about "stim-lite"!! I didn't think I had any either until I read more about it   : )   

I think I do all of mine on my own, at least I can't think of any that I do in public. When I've been caught fiddling with my ear or pressing my skin or whatever (by family members mostly, at home) I just feel embarrassed. Not sure why exactly except, I suppose, I was always told as a child that these things were weird / stupid / moronic etc. I don't particularly think they are but when you're told something often enough as a child it sticks with you somewhere in the back of your mind.    

I think I do all of mine on my own, at least I can't think of any that I do in public. When I've been caught fiddling with my ear or pressing my skin or whatever (by family members mostly, at home) I just feel embarrassed. Not sure why exactly except, I suppose, I was always told as a child that these things were weird / stupid / moronic etc. I don't particularly think they are but when you're told something often enough as a child it sticks with you somewhere in the back of your mind.