Hello! I am a 34 year old autistic woman and autism is the second of two things I have had to come to terms with in my life. The first was my sexuality.
When I was 18, after questioning for three years, I came out as gay and accepting my sexuality was, and remains, the most euphoric experience of my life. I would not have it any other way and I am proud to be gay.
It has not been the case with autism.
When I was 29, I started to think that I may be on the spectrum. I won't go into the story here as it is quite lengthy but finding out that there is a reason for my behaviour did make me feel better, but I had a resentful attitude to it. Even the diagnosis was anti-climatic.
I'm already gay - why do I have to have autism, too?
I had tried to make friends in the gay community from age 18 - 23 but any friendships I made were short lived. Both girlfriends I had before my marriage couldn't cope with the way I was.
A year ago, I started to make youtube videos about my diagnosis and I said in one that I was not quite at peace with it.
However, one of my managers at work told me repeatedly to just embrace my difference and be 'proud to be a Sheldon in a world of Pennies'. This saying has stuck with me.
Although I haven't had a rush of euphoria similar to when I came out, I am more accepting of it now and I think my real problem with it is that being gay is more acceptable in many cases than being autistic as most people think they know what autism is and they simply do not!
Has anyone else had a similar experience about coming to terms with a diagnosis and self-acceptance?
