Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I’m 33 and female and went to speak to the GP about an autism assessment. He asked me a load of personal questions and I got a bit emotional answering him, but I felt really embarrassed more than anything. Answering a few random questions on the spot to justify something that makes sense because of a lifetime of a million little things rather than any one glaring symptom.
I think I’m perceived as mostly normal but inside I’m acutely aware of how much I’m having to concentrate and calculate my responses. Every day is an exam that I can score ok on but I’m perpetually revising. There are things I don’t even remember because I’m so practised in negating my reaction, I’m like an robot, until someone else points it out as one of their symptoms of their autism and I connect another dot.
He said that I might be but might not, he didn’t seem very knowledgeable, and that I’d have to travel to Sheffield. End of appointment.
I googled Sheffield and it seemed legit. I get the referral through and it’s to an anxiety and depression therapy agency in Derby.
The thing is that anxiety and depression are not part of my symptoms. My reactions are very internal and sometimes they explode out in private and other times I manage to swallow them deep until I can reason with myself somehow and let it go.
Anxiety and depression were not mentioned in the appointment either. Except as I was literally walking out of the room and he asked if I was depressed, he didn’t actually use that word, and I said no and he nodded and I left.
I have a telephone consultation booked when he gets back off his holiday (?!) so what can I say?
Thanks
No, I’m speaking to the GP again on the phone after I questioned my referral.
I don’t know what I can say to him to get assessed when he’s clearly changed his mind in the absence of his patient.
Guess whatever you say, try to avoid accusing him of lying. It's not really what he did, I guess, and accusing him of having done so is probably not going to help. He saw you and, being a doctor, believes that he knows way better than you, so with a few questions and your answers and perhaps more so your reactions he diagnosed you and he's convinced he's right. So he refers you to what he genuinely believes is what you need. Being diagnosed with all sorts of things is something that seems to happen to a lot of people until it later turns out that ASD actually explains things much better and treatment for these conditions (clinical depression, borderline personality disorder...) was not working or doing more harm than good because they didn't actually have what they were diagnosed with. No idea how you can change his mind about this, because from his point of view he is a professional and you are not, even if he doesn't have much of a clue really, but accusing him of lying to you is one thing I'm quite sure is not going to get you there. Guess you can only try to have a few(!) strong(!) examples that suggest that depression and anxiety are not the primary problems but, if signs are present, may rather be a result of ASD. But saying this, limited experience tells me that it quite possibly won't work, because the diagnosis he has given you is beyond doubt for him.
The other option, if he does not change his mind, would be to try again when you are in the place for the depression/anxiety therapy. You may be lucky and they are more open to other explanations for your issues. Adds more waiting time obviously.