Rights at work

I would certainly recommend telling the NMC because, as someone else on here has mentioned, if you feel you require adjustments at work at a later date these will be easier / quicker to accommodate if they already have all of the information they need. I would ask at your Union appointment what the guidelines are too as you may, in your position as a nurse, have an obligation to declare your diagnosis to the NMC. 

As for telling ANYONE else, It is of course entirely up to you but I wouldn't recommend it at this very early stage.

It would serve no purpose to tell work colleagues all of your personal business from any other area of your life and this one (your health) is no different. Additionally, I would definitely recommend (from my own personal experience) allowing yourself time to adjust to and accommodate this new diagnosis. It's worth taking the time to let the information settle in your own head before having to deal with other people's opinions, suggestions, or biases on such a personal issue. Once you feel comfortable and used to the diagnosis, perhaps learn more about how it affects you as an individual, then you could revisit the question of who to share the information with.    

Thank you all for the advice. I have a week's holiday now post diagnosis to think about it all. I will talk to my line manager, read the relevant policies and see a union rep. I will  make a list of all my particular difficulties and what specific areas of work I struggle with and ask for adjustements. Now I will no longer feel isolated and backed into corners at work; I should now be able to ask for clarity and specifics when I don't fully understand what is being asked of me, rather than fearing people will think I am stupid or pedantic..and hopefully I will feel able  to be honest if I need to ask them to back off and allow me some time and space at times when I am given more work than I can cope with, without people thinking I am lazy or not up to the job. I have so far been masking a lot and they don't know the half of it.

I’ve been really surprised to read so many comments advising you to not to tell many of your colleagues. I received my diagnosis in Oct (after going through a few misdiagnoses). I’m overjoyed at receiving this news and still use every opportunity, no matter how weak, to tell as many people as possible. I’ve told over 100 people and only have poor reactions from 2.

It sounds like you have a good plan and I hope you enjoy your week off.

I don't think anyone is saying that, not from my perspective on the posts here anyway. I am pleased with my diagnosis, like you it has offered me a whole new perspective on myself, my life, the challenges I face, everything! It does fell like a weight off my shoulders too, to know that I finally make sense and I'm not 'broken' or 'weird' or whatever else I've felt on bad days over the years. I definitely see having my diagnosis as a VERY positive thing - for me. It's just that I also recognise the unfortunate fact that it isn't necessarily going to be seen as such a positive thing for everybody else, because they don't know (can't possibly know) the difficulties 'masking' and such have caused me over the years.

With any good news it's good to feel on a high over it, I did! You should definitely enjoy that high! But when the high wears off normal life resumes and a few realities do settle again like dust. 

Realities such as, People can be asses. What 'Should' happen isn't what Will always happen. Of course disabilities legislation 'Should' protect you from discrimination of every kind but why expose yourself unnecessarily? You can't file a case for every snide comment and unfortunately these kinds of people are out there.    

NAS36932 said:

Wow..so are you saying I should just keep it to myself and put up or shut up..continue struggling beyond my depth or just give up work?

I am in this situation.

I continue struggling beyond my depth.

Do not know what to do!

Wow..so are you saying I should just keep it to myself and put up or shut up..continue struggling beyond my depth or just give up work?

Technically you do have rights and recourse, but it is a difficult process and doesn't always work the way you expect it to. Tribunals are run by NTs after all. People tend to gang up on us, so don't expect other people to tell the truth.

I think it depends on where you work. I've worked in some teams that were extremely b****y and had a small time mentality. I now work in education and have come across the odd department with a negative attitude to those who didn't change who they were to fit in with the pack but on the whole most have been extremely positive and helpful. I'm just about to start a new post, they gave me RA in the interview (extra time for processing my answers), had me in a week after I was offered the post to discuss what RA I need and they've arranged for everything I need to be in place from week one. I can't wait to start and I think they can see that if they do this for me I'll do the best that I can for them in return

I'd rather be honest and find out quickly that its not the department for me, then move on, rather than feel I have to hide the true me to fit in.

Would that sort of behaviour not  be in breach of policies on respect and dignity at work, bullying and harrassment.. as well as discrimination and affecting my rights under disabilties legislation? Worst scenario may be some sniping about 'convenient diagnosis' and 'swinging the lead'.. which would be hurtful because I do the best within my abilities but have really struggled in silence for a long time. .but any such accusations would be groundless and I would surely have some recourse and protection? Yes I agree I'll have to think carefully but I am disheartened by accounts of such negative and discriminatory behaviour and I am who and what I am, always have been.

It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but your colleagues (particularly the ones you may be having trouble with) might not feel the same way. I would caution you from telling people without giving this a lot of thought. You never know what people are saying about you behind your back, and a work environment can change from ok to very unpleasant almost instantly, and you'll never know why.

It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but your colleagues (particularly the ones you may be having trouble with) might not feel the same way. I would caution you from telling people without giving this a lot of thought. You never know what people are saying about you behind your back, and a work environment can change from ok to very unpleasant almost instantly, and you'll never know why.

I don't think anyone is saying that, not from my perspective on the posts here anyway. I am pleased with my diagnosis, like you it has offered me a whole new perspective on myself, my life, the challenges I face, everything! It does fell like a weight off my shoulders too, to know that I finally make sense and I'm not 'broken' or 'weird' or whatever else I've felt on bad days over the years. I definitely see having my diagnosis as a VERY positive thing - for me. It's just that I also recognise the unfortunate fact that it isn't necessarily going to be seen as such a positive thing for everybody else, because they don't know (can't possibly know) the difficulties 'masking' and such have caused me over the years.

With any good news it's good to feel on a high over it, I did! You should definitely enjoy that high! But when the high wears off normal life resumes and a few realities do settle again like dust. 

Realities such as, People can be asses. What 'Should' happen isn't what Will always happen. Of course disabilities legislation 'Should' protect you from discrimination of every kind but why expose yourself unnecessarily? You can't file a case for every snide comment and unfortunately these kinds of people are out there.    

NAS36932 said:

Wow..so are you saying I should just keep it to myself and put up or shut up..continue struggling beyond my depth or just give up work?

I am in this situation.

I continue struggling beyond my depth.

Do not know what to do!

Wow..so are you saying I should just keep it to myself and put up or shut up..continue struggling beyond my depth or just give up work?

Technically you do have rights and recourse, but it is a difficult process and doesn't always work the way you expect it to. Tribunals are run by NTs after all. People tend to gang up on us, so don't expect other people to tell the truth.

I think it depends on where you work. I've worked in some teams that were extremely b****y and had a small time mentality. I now work in education and have come across the odd department with a negative attitude to those who didn't change who they were to fit in with the pack but on the whole most have been extremely positive and helpful. I'm just about to start a new post, they gave me RA in the interview (extra time for processing my answers), had me in a week after I was offered the post to discuss what RA I need and they've arranged for everything I need to be in place from week one. I can't wait to start and I think they can see that if they do this for me I'll do the best that I can for them in return

I'd rather be honest and find out quickly that its not the department for me, then move on, rather than feel I have to hide the true me to fit in.

Would that sort of behaviour not  be in breach of policies on respect and dignity at work, bullying and harrassment.. as well as discrimination and affecting my rights under disabilties legislation? Worst scenario may be some sniping about 'convenient diagnosis' and 'swinging the lead'.. which would be hurtful because I do the best within my abilities but have really struggled in silence for a long time. .but any such accusations would be groundless and I would surely have some recourse and protection? Yes I agree I'll have to think carefully but I am disheartened by accounts of such negative and discriminatory behaviour and I am who and what I am, always have been.