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Problems with my friend who has aspergers

Hope

I have a friend with aspergers, who I met at an AS social group. He is a lovely, caring, kind and intelligent guy, but he has his difficulties too, including a tendancy to get paranoid and to misconstrue things.

Recently he has told me that he thinks I am beautiful, that he loves me and would like us to be together. I told him that I would just like to be friends - he was fine with this.

However, he now wants my landline phone number, but I don't want to give it to him. Reason: he had it once before (but lost the phone number) and kept on phoning me all the time and it really got me down. He tells me he won't do this again, but truth be told I don't trust him in this area. Also, I live with my parents and this complicates matters. I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

  • Truthful is the way to go. The thing is if this guy has got the hots for you, anything positive (attention wise) is going to re-inforce his feelings. It's really aweful when you love someone that doesnt love you, its gets complicated and difficult. The sooner he gets over, the better it is for him.

    What about msn messenger, facebook or texting as an alternative? then you can keep him at arms length? However I still think yout better off not giving him any details if your not interested in him. 

  • Tell him the truth. He will be hurt, but you can not avoiding hurting some people some times, and, in my view at least, it is better to be truthful, but hurtful, than gentle, but deceitful. Lies lead only to more lies, and only make things yet more complicated.