finding it an obstacle to establishing friendships/relationships

I'm wanting my life to get better but I feel it's not getting much better and I'm not sure how to cope with the pressures and stresses of it.

I understand that life doesn't go in the way you want it to go sometimes and I just have to accept that life is an obstacle.

Having Asperger's has affected my social life in terms of establishing relationships with people.

I generally find establishing friendships to be a constant struggle and that I'm in a situation where I can't really rely on anyone and that I'm worried that I can't grow my independance and will still be living with my parents when I turn 40 (I'm 27). 

I joined a website called CitySocialiser where I attended a quiz night since last December which I enjoy going to. I went to two days out on museum trips, although I enjoyed going to see these wonderful places, I didn't really feel I connected or established friendships with anyone from those events. 

I'm attempting to address this problem of establishing relationships, I plan on still being a member of CitySocialiser and looking out for events where I can meet people with shared interests. I just recently became a member of MeetUp and planning to go to some events in the near future. I'm looking to take up

I just wondered if anyone has any suggestions on how to better my social life or things I should be doing more often to help my chances to better my life?

Joe

realjoephill25.wordpress.com/.../

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  • The only way I really found good social relationships with people is through activities I was interested in. I've always really struggled with talking to people I don't know at events where the aim is socialising. I'm 44 so I've done various things as I am pretty rubbish at sticking to things long term. 

    For me, these things were pretty good.

    Scuba Diving (it's underwater so you can't talk but you can share amazing experiences with people that everyone wants to talk about after)
    Golf - it's always a small group and people tend to be fairly polite.
    Pub Quizzing - Because everyone needs an aspie in the team really, and you talk about the questions which is easy.
    Snooker/Pool - Same reason as golf
    Fishing - Because people talk to you if you catch a nice fish, and you don't mind that because YAY. Similarly it's easy to talk to people who just caught a nice fish.
    Volunteering - Helping in a charity shop is kind of simpler and easier than socialising and you get to talk with people who are unlikely  to be arses even if they are boring.
    Get a Dog - If you like dogs and you like talking about dogs, then having a dog is a certain way to meet other people who like talking about dogs. Wearing headphones and sunglasses seems to work on the days where I don't want to talk to anybody about dogs, or I just want to talk to the dog.

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  • The only way I really found good social relationships with people is through activities I was interested in. I've always really struggled with talking to people I don't know at events where the aim is socialising. I'm 44 so I've done various things as I am pretty rubbish at sticking to things long term. 

    For me, these things were pretty good.

    Scuba Diving (it's underwater so you can't talk but you can share amazing experiences with people that everyone wants to talk about after)
    Golf - it's always a small group and people tend to be fairly polite.
    Pub Quizzing - Because everyone needs an aspie in the team really, and you talk about the questions which is easy.
    Snooker/Pool - Same reason as golf
    Fishing - Because people talk to you if you catch a nice fish, and you don't mind that because YAY. Similarly it's easy to talk to people who just caught a nice fish.
    Volunteering - Helping in a charity shop is kind of simpler and easier than socialising and you get to talk with people who are unlikely  to be arses even if they are boring.
    Get a Dog - If you like dogs and you like talking about dogs, then having a dog is a certain way to meet other people who like talking about dogs. Wearing headphones and sunglasses seems to work on the days where I don't want to talk to anybody about dogs, or I just want to talk to the dog.

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