Are there any women here?

...lol. X

I thought six was excessive and so counted as one :O lol -  I do not do half measures as a result of my ADHD leanings I am either 'all in or all out'.  It would have been 6 or none at all he he x

Lol....! It’s not an anomaly... I’m a mum of one... would have liked more...but hey... life! 

I am 43 and have 6 children but I also have hyperactive impulsive ADHD, so that explains that anomaly lol 

Nearly fifty and no kids, never wanted them as I said from about twelve, still uncomfortable around kids, no idea what they want or what to say. 

Two children...one 14, the other 58.. the latter my partner....they and ASD have driven me up the wall...one day, up and over....and run for the hills.......... hehe

58 and no children. I love them but it would have driven me completely up the wall!

Definitely not the only one - 47 and never had kids. I don't like them, and apparently didn't like them even when I was one.

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

I also personally suspect that I am the only person over 30 who does *not* have children, eh?

no, surely not, not even the only female

Mind reader!

I am growing my first real beard, started growing it properly  just before Xmas,

I had a small beard when younger when I was a hippy then later a biker,also had long hair back then,hated hair dressers,

my beard is very distinctive and a full face non pretentious type,yet to be given any kind of shape,

I feel so comfortable dressed this way, 

I feel like it is me, not a costume this time, I am not looking to please anyone but myself. I don’t care if anyone likes it or not.

I am struggling to dress it down,the shops are full of similar style clothes right now, but it is the detail that makes it work. Mismatched,durable,practical ,honest,even worn or scruffy.working class honesty.

I love Victorian era clothes but the closest I get to wearing them is perhaps 'Joe Browns' stuff.

I think being male would be pretty excellent for 'masking' because of the facial hair possibilities! Although I'd need a pretty fast growth to keep up with all of my changes, like the possibility of growing a beard in a week! It would also be pretty useful to hide behind, like a real mask, and cover up things like blushing - practical and protective! 

I am a Male but omg you echo my mind to,

so much my way for so long, as a young child I would dress to try to fit in, it never worked as I could only have second hand clothes handed down to me.

As an adult I often say I am like a tv character called Mr Ben, he visited a costume shop and changed into costumes and went on adventures each time.

since finding out my self diagnosed self I have chosen my new me,real me is to wear Victorian clothing! Victorian worker in his Sunday best, not rich squire or pretentious young goatee bearded reality show contender.Lol.

”Endymion said”

“I've read about exactly what you describe as being very common among females with HFA! I sort of do it too in that I'm not aware of copying any particular person but I do 'put on costumes' (if that makes any sense?) and 'dress for the part / role' I need to play that day:

I feel / become (?) more articulate when i dress 'up' and feel / become more adept at successfully handling appointments such as with professionals or an an interview situation. For instance, I've never been turned down for a role after an interview but I've refused some roles based on how exhausting I found that interview (am I making any sense here?).

I too wondered about multiple personality disorder but dismissed it as apparently those so afflicted are not aware of all of their different personalities and / or cannot always choose when they appear. For me, it's a very deliberate coping mechanism and I prepare for it in advance by choosing 'confident + capable' clothes the night before (or whatever role it is I'm preparing for). It's hard to explain but it really is like putting on costumes for a part in a play.

Since my diagnosis I have wondered where these roles end and I begin (do 'I' even exist in here?) but something someone on here said actually made me relax about the whole thing, it was about the fact that the real 'us' is the one holding the mask in place all along and about being able to be ourselves in private (or with those we are most close to). For instance, I don't have a 'partner' role in private or an 'owners' role with the dog - those are just me.”

I love that line :) "You just sung my life with your song!!" That's an excellent description :) It fits with my experiences of reading so many of the posts I've read in the last month or so on here. 

What you describe about the make-up, hair, nails etc. sounds EXACTLY like me up until about, maybe, five years ago or so. It was EXHAUSTING to keep up.

Then, having moved to a rural farming community (I originally came from the city.) I noticed that a lot (most if not all) of the women in this part of the world around my age (late 30's onwards) didn't wear make-up or do any of that at all!

It was a bit of a revelation to me that my age could legitimately 'free' me from some of these time-consuming preparations and I gradually weaned myself off them. It took YEARS!! I still wont go into town or to a casual community event without doing my hair (I feel that's a vital part of my 'costumes') but I actually don't wear make-up at all now and I think it's helped me to feel more 'real' somehow. 

As well as doing my hair, and having a wardrobe of 'costumes', I also still need to have my nails done. I don't think I could, or would want to, let go of these things. 

It's strange actually talking about this. If I could show you inside my wardrobe you would have no idea "Who lives in a house like this?", because it looks as if half a dozen different personalities share the same wardrobe! The Professional, The Mum, The Wellie-booted villager, The Bohemian Artist, ... all with their personalities, mannerisms, accessories, ... so weird.

There are some 'personalities' I've outgrown over the years too but, as I've gotten older, I've found twisted fun in pulling them out of the bag when I'm dressed in a different role - it really messes with people's heads and i think it's a good lesson not to judge a book by it's cover! Especially when dealing with teenage children and their friends! I see it as one big benefit of having a few identities to choose from.    

Oh my goodness!! You just sung my life with your song!! I too dress up to go with my roles!!  I do not like leaving the house unless I'm in full costume to fully play the role I need to outside!!  This costume is not quite theatrical and actually makes me appear less intelligent than I actually am.

I have hair done, manicures, fake tans, pedicures etc etc

I put it all on and I go into 'mode' and I feel very uncomfortable and don't want to go out if it's not all in place.

The days I love most are when I don't have to go out.  I've been diagnosed with agoraphobia but it's a dishonest diagnosis because I don't have it.  A private therapist sussed it years ago.

I just get overstimulated in a sensory way and I don't like dealing with people.

I let the label slide because it's helpful so that others can understand and well frankly just leave me alone but it's only recently that I realised it's dishonest and inaccurate.

I too, don't have the roles for 'at home' then I am me.  It's been very cathartic discussing this and having another human being identify with it because I have never had that my whole life.  This has compounded my feeling of 'oddness' and made me feel more 'alone' and 'different'.

It started when I was 15, well at least that is when the anxiety started.  

I know when I'm in the role, because I speak differently, body language is different etc, I know it's fraudulent and not me.

Thank you so much for sharing this, it really has now convinced me beyond any remaining doubt that I have Autism.

Robert124 said:

I suspect the men and women are here in equal numbers.

(whispering) ... Greetings, Mr.Math-Photographer... I know this also. I also personally suspect that I am the only person over 30 who does *not* have children, eh?...

(Yelling upon a public Forurum) ...DON'T TELL ANYONE ELSE THAT!

:-)

You are absolutely fine and express yourself as you feel best.  I am actually just wait for my official diagnosis.  I agree with you that it is important for all of the reasons that you mention.  I have 6 children and 6 have disabilities and so I have to deal with government an awful lot to get services for my children.  I have been very much misunderstood by these people.  Having a diagnosis I feel will protect me legally for one thing, also ensure that I continue to receive the services that I need.  Thank you for your post.  Don't feel you need to reply if you are tired.  This I think is one place where you can just be 'you' without any worry and no one will judge you or disapprove.

You get the Official Diagnosis for three reasons: 1- An official diagnosis is NOT an easy thing to gain, and 2- once you get it, you can gain access to certain services which may have been denied to you before that, and in LAW. And 3- After gaining the official diagnosis... you do *not* have to declare it unless needs must.

...I have Posted before upon this Thread, which is why I am Posting in such a manner. And I am becoming tired of repeating myself so often. Sorry.

I've read about exactly what you describe as being very common among females with HFA! I sort of do it too in that I'm not aware of copying any particular person but I do 'put on costumes' (if that makes any sense?) and 'dress for the part / role' I need to play that day:

I feel / become (?) more articulate when i dress 'up' and feel / become more adept at successfully handling appointments such as with professionals or an an interview situation. For instance, I've never been turned down for a role after an interview but I've refused some roles based on how exhausting I found that interview (am I making any sense here?).

I too wondered about multiple personality disorder but dismissed it as apparently those so afflicted are not aware of all of their different personalities and / or cannot always choose when they appear. For me, it's a very deliberate coping mechanism and I prepare for it in advance by choosing 'confident + capable' clothes the night before (or whatever role it is I'm preparing for). It's hard to explain but it really is like putting on costumes for a part in a play. 

Since my diagnosis I have wondered where these roles end and I begin (do 'I' even exist in here?) but something someone on here said actually made me relax about the whole thing, it was about the fact that the real 'us' is the one holding the mask in place all along and about being able to be ourselves in private (or with those we are most close to). For instance, I don't have a 'partner' role in private or an 'owners' role with the dog - those are just me.   

I suspect the men and women are here in equal numbers.

Me too.  This is where I got to looking at myself through my children and then through speaking to their consultant.  The ADHD diagnosis brought so much relief that I now want that for the other part that ADHD does not explain!