Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?
I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!
I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.
One of my former bosses also hated phones. He was very abrupt on the phone. Just said the business and ended the call.
He called phones and people who enjoy talking on them, time stealers.
He explained to me that some people enjoy phoning and then they drag conversations out. This is time stealing. You want to do something with your time. But a phone rings and interrupts you and the person on the phone steals your time by talking endlessly on and on. In effect your time is stolen by that person.
That's so true Robert! It's the equivalent of when someone corners you and starts talking at you and you don't know how to get away so you end up listening to a load of complete drivel for half an hour, when really you had something else you wanted to be doing. Except maybe it's even easier to 'corner' you on the phone, because as soon as you have picked up, you're stuck.
My mum complains a bit that I don't phone her, but it really wouldn't occur to me unless I had something specific to say. Small talk is lost on me (the making of and listening to) so I would never ring someone just to chat. I would not know what to say.
One of my former neighbors is this expert time stealer.
During the day she cornered people in their gardens when they were busy. And she could go on and on and on and on. With just routine gossip and small talk for two hours. By the time she left I ( and other people) was to tired to do anything and often it was getting to dark too continue the gardening.
Later after I moved, I discovered that in the evenings she phoned people with the same gossip and small talk. And she made 2 hour phone calls routinely.
Often in the evenings I was busy, cooking, eating, watching TV, having a bath. And she phones !!!!!! I'm running the bath water, and she phones and the call goes on and on and on ........ All small talk and gossip , same as last week's call.
Nightmare talking with her.