My son and my niece (brother's daughter) have both been diagnosed with ASD and my niece also has ADHD. I have been with the mental health services for around 15 years (since I was 12) and have been seeing a psychiatrist over the last year. During a recent appointment he asked me to complete a screening questionnaire for Aspergers and came back with a score of 42 out of 50. My Doctor said that with that score and after observing me through our appointments along with the strong prevalence in our family of Autism (my brother is also being looked at for Autism and ADHD) that he would be very surprised if I came back from the appointment without a diagnosis of Aspergers.
I can't help but over analyse things. One moment a diagnosis seems very likely when I apply what I know of Autism from my son to my own childhood memories and experiences (I only know about childhood Autism). However, the more I speak to people about it and the more I then analyse those conversations and situations I feel like i'm being silly and of course i'm not Autistic. It would be very easy to say to wait for the diagnostic meeting to take place and see how things go but the waiting list is 13 months long and I am struggling a lot which is the reason that i'm being put through the diagnostic process in the first place. I also seem to be incapable of not worrying about this and not analysing every aspect of my daily life and past constantly.
I am under high levels of stress in my day to day life, have suffered from anxiety and depression for a large chunk of my life and really don't know if Autism is the answer as to why I can't seem to act the way everyone else does or react to situations in the same way or if i'm just weird and this is just me. I really need to know more about what to expect if I do have Aspergers or what the people at this meeting (which i've been told will be an all day assessment in a place i've never been to before) are expecting from me.
I have suffered what i've seen described as a meltdown and I do have issues that can be described as sensory but they can also be explained by other things. It is so very hard to understand what is and what isn't and I find myself getting really upset because I really don't know and it is such a long time to wait for a person i've never met before to sit with me asking me a lot of very hard questions to then make a judgement on something I could have been dealing with for almost 27 years.
I have been told I can often offend or be rude without intention so I feel obliged to add that I don't mean to offend anyone with anything I have written or will write.
