Published on 12, July, 2020
I am looking for a bit of advice really. My predicament revolves around being autistic and having a job. Around 9 months ago, I lost my job as a civil servant with the DWP. They unfairly dismissed me because I did have reasonable adjustments but they kept taking them off me etc. which lead to my mental health declining and I began underperforming – this to me meant maybe a call centre environment was the wrong place for me to work as I dont do too well with telephones.
I've been in and out of jobs for the last 9 months, my most recent one ended because they just didn't care about me and took advantage of me. The part I am really struggling with is the pressure from my family to get another job to where they keep suggesting I go for jobs in call centres because they hire in large volumes and I will more than likely get it because I am articulate and intelligent thanks to my aspergers.
I try to tell them that these are jobs I will likely fail or get fired from because I don't operate the way they would want a typical call centre worker to operate, my family sometimes seems to be of the belief that Autism and aspergers isn't necessarily a disability and that through confronting the issues we face we can just get over them. in addition to this my mum is of the opinion that I'm only autistic because of the things I have been through in my life because I was only diagnosed two years ago where as I know I was born autistic. I understand they just want me to have a job and live independently with my partner like I did this time last year but I cannot work in a call centre!
Im trying to keep everyone happy which is what I always seem to do so I don't disappoint anyone but from past experience this puts me in a tricky position! Its not me being closed minded in terms of working, I want to, but I also want to be comfortable and able to work somewhere to start with!
I'm just not sure how to help them understand without disappointing them or making them think I'm trying to make excuses to not do things etc. does anyone have any advice?
I feel a similar lack of understanding from my family. My mum has said to me more than once that autism isn't a disability. That can feel dismissive like my problems aren't real but I think it's because she wants to focus on the strengths of people with autism and wants more people to be aware of them. I try to remind myself that she loves me and wants to help me, even if she doesn't understand, not that it helps when I'm in those conversations explaining why I've not just fixed the problems in my life.
I keep family and work separate. I talk much more openly about autism at work even if I have to hide it with my family. Do what you need to do to find work which is right for you and don't give your family too many details about how you are doing that.
Abigail's advice is great and it may help to talk to someone not emotionally involved to remind you that its okay to find work hard and its okay to expect adjustments. It sounds like you have a good handle on what your strengths and weaknesses are and that will help you to find a job. Best of luck.