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In a way I'm grateful... But then again!

Jambert

Hi all,

My 5 year old son was diagnosed with ASD in Jan 10 and I'm just coming to terms with the diagnosis. I'm currently seeking out as much information as possible. I've yet to take the early bird plus course but at least I've now registered on the waiting list and stopped making excuses about why I couldn't go on the course. I've spent a good 12 months trying to just get on with life, I decided not to tell anyone about his ASD except both mine & my husbands parents, his class teacher and my best friend. Although an incident at school meant I had to then inform everyone formally.

My son is such a social child, he's so loving, he's doing well at school and he is so polite and kind all of which I'm grateful for.  However these fantastic attributes mean that he is not statemented, and allowances for his shortcomings aren't made like they are for the two other children in his class. 

When he was diagnosed the Paediatrician said that his 'traits' would become less and he may even 'grow out of' them.  I hate to admit I believed her.  However his traits are getting worse, and having now done some research I can see more little things that he does or did in the past which helps me accept he won't ever 'grow out of his autism'.  I'm ashamed to admit that makes me very sad.

My son has very big meltdowns that can last hours and hours BUT I'm proud to say for the fist time ever he had a meltdown at the supermarket yesterday and I didn't get stressed out about it. For once I wasn't embarressed or upset I dealt with it and we then went on to have a nice shopping trip.  Ok I know I should be used to it by now but I finally realise he can't help it... he's not doing it to be naughty he just doesn't know any other way to communicate.  This was such a revelation for me!!!

I'm so grateful for all the lovely things my son does and says I'm so grateful his ASD isn't worse but sometimes I wish I could get the help and support he needs so much more easily. I feel like I'm fighting constantly for any help or assesments because he 'isn't that bad' (as everyone keeps telling me).  I'm sorry if that sound awfully selfish or offends anyone that is not my intention.

Living with and caring for a child with an ASD is a challenge I finally feel ready to tackle. I'm even considering getting my 3 year old assessed as he shows many traits too. Although how much of that is copying his Brother I do not know. Only time will tell I guess.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, but I kinda feel better for it!

Thanks for reading.

Emma.

 

Parents

  • It is an established myth. I guess that because diagnosis at school age has rocketed it has enhanced the perception of it as a childhood problem. Also school tends to bring it out as you are stuck there all day, you are in the most critical phases in a lifetime of needing peer approval (and therefore most readily singled out as different) and expected to conform to rigorous authority including how you walk down a corridor.

    In adulthood, though diagnoses is becoming more frequent, there is very little infrastructure yet for adults. There are more options where someone can fit in some way or other, so the pressure of school is alleviated at least for some. Often the available help is for mental health and anxiety rather than aspergers. Many GPs seem convinced it is a childhood thing. Little provision is made. So the myth is established that it is something you grow out of.

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  • It is an established myth. I guess that because diagnosis at school age has rocketed it has enhanced the perception of it as a childhood problem. Also school tends to bring it out as you are stuck there all day, you are in the most critical phases in a lifetime of needing peer approval (and therefore most readily singled out as different) and expected to conform to rigorous authority including how you walk down a corridor.

    In adulthood, though diagnoses is becoming more frequent, there is very little infrastructure yet for adults. There are more options where someone can fit in some way or other, so the pressure of school is alleviated at least for some. Often the available help is for mental health and anxiety rather than aspergers. Many GPs seem convinced it is a childhood thing. Little provision is made. So the myth is established that it is something you grow out of.

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