• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 77 subscribers
  • Views 2334 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Obsessive?

loulabell

Hi there,

Would you say people on the spectrum get obesessive/addicted easily?

My son has become addicted to this mindless computer game called minecraft. He doesnt play it but watches the videos of people playing it on Youtube. There are thousands done by the same 2 fellas. 

He watches them whenever he can. When i try to restrict his veiwing he flys into the most uncontrolable rages (which is not like him, hes normally quite placid) he will punch, kick, scream, cry till hes sick, threaten to harm himself...

Should i restrict him further, ban him altogether....I feel terrible restricting him to 2 hours because he finds so much peace and enjoyment, he giggles contantly while hes watching it and it holds his attention. 

Im just concerned at how badly he turns when you tell him to knock it off, in his words may as well be dead if he isnt allowed to watch it! 

Im open to suggestions :D 

thanks, Lou x

  • loulabell said:

    Thank you Scorpion,

    I guess i just needed the help to understand what it is like for him to be 'obsessive' about it. Hes not obesessive he is just engaged, interested, captivated!

    Quite so! :)
     
    loulabell said:
    That makes me much happier that its okay for him to be so interested in the videos. Its not doing any harm.
    It could even, if your son's comparitively high-functioning, be the root of his future career!
    When I was a kid, I was 'obsessed' with the ZX Spectrum +3 (old 80's home computer) that my parents bought - and it led to me getting a Software Engineering degree (and working as software engineer for a while)!
     
    loulabell said:
    I do try to engage with him in his interests but i need to learn about minecraft...he starts talking about how he needs to make potions and who this knight perculiar is (he is dead so i can gather, Jake was mortified!!) I should use my nightshifts to learn about it so when he does talk to me then i can at least make a reasonable responce rather than...ummm dunno!
    Erm... You could... However, MineCraft is a HUGE game - primarily becuase it's mostly user-generated - so the places the YOGCASTS guys wander round in have been created by players of the game, not by the creators of the game, most of the time.
    Maybe you should get your son to teach you about it! It may be hard to follow, but he almost certainly knows more, already, about it, then you'll ever learn!
    (and please don't take that last bit as an insult, it's just that we're like information-sponges for the things we're interested in)

  • Thank you Scorpion,

    I guess i just needed the help to understand what it is like for him to be 'obsessive' about it. Hes not obesessive he is just engaged, interested, captivated!
     
    That makes me much happier that its okay for him to be so interested in the videos. Its not doing any harm.
     
    I do try to engage with him in his interests but i need to learn about minecraft...he starts talking about how he needs to make potions and who this knight perculiar is (he is dead so i can gather, Jake was mortified!!) I should use my nightshifts to learn about it so when he does talk to me then i can at least make a reasonable responce rather than...ummm dunno!
     
    Thanks again
     
    Lou

  • loulabell said:

    He Enjoys the YOGSCAST videos, i realised that they dont just do minecraft they have all different games.

    Yeah, I know of them. They're not as good as TotalBiscuit and Jesse, in my opinion, but then that kind of proves the point I'm about to make.

    loulabell said:
    I understand your point about my calling it mindless, unfortunatly i seem to have been a little narrow minded. To me all i see when he has is on is a cube land with 2 guys spouting randomn comments about the characters.

    After reading your comments i sat down to watch a few with him and he giggled all the way through, i coundnt understand what he was laughing at! But i was looking...he was listening! Thats the difference, these two guys, are amusing in what they say.

    There will be in jokes that you won't get, and, yeah, it's just a cube world - that's the style of the game - but, as I think you've now realised, what's going on in that cube world is simply a vehicle for their style of humour.

    loulabell said:
    I find it fasinating that he can watch a tv programme and you can ask him what someone has just said and his responce would be "i dunno!" you ask him what someone said in a 'minecraft' episode he watched 2 hours ago and he relays it word for word.

    That's probably because he doesn't find the TV programme interesting and he does with the minecraft video.

    We, on the spectrum, are very driven by what interests us, and very little else - in a sense if it doesn't interest us it's as if it doesn't exist.

    I wouldn't be surprised that when he's 'watching a TV programme' he's actually not really watching it, but is thinking about something entirely different - I do stuff like that all the time - well, I did when I had a TV - it would be on, and I'd be sat in front of it, even looking at it, appearing to be watching it, but I was actually thinking about, and totaly engrossed in, something else entirely.

    loulabell said:
    I think i was simply worried because it was all he lived to do, he would wake up in a morning and his firsts thought was minecraft, come home from school and it was minecraft. He would watch it in his sleep!! (im being literal there, many i times he would wake up, find his netbook and switch it on while completly asleep!)

    Yes, to generalise, that's what we do - think about our special interests all the time - it's not something we can control.

    loulabell said:
    I see what your saying about there being no problem if its something he enjoys. I feel that, i want him to be happy of course i do.

    Yeah, don't worry about it - as long as it's not getting in the way of vitaly important stuff like eating, don't think of it as a problem.

    One last thing - if you can find a way to 'share' his interest with him (even if that means sitting there and pretending to enjoy it (though, it's much, much, better if you can actually enjoy some aspect of it)) then I'd be willing to bet that it would mean the world to him (though it may not be all that obvious, to you, that it does).

  • Hiya Luke,

    I have a nephew who loves watching the 'real' thomas accidents on Youtube. He is nearly 4. I made him a dvd of them and now he watches them as he walls asleep. My son has a timer but its only a 10 minute timer, its used for mornings mainly or when we are getting ready to leave. The work well. Maybe i can find a larger one that has an hour maybe.

    Thank you

    Lou

  • He Enjoys the YOGSCAST videos, i realised that they dont just do minecraft they have all different games.

    I understand your point about my calling it mindless, unfortunatly i seem to have been a little narrow minded. To me all i see when he has is on is a cube land with 2 guys spouting randomn comments about the characters.

    After reading your comments i sat down to watch a few with him and he giggled all the way through, i coundnt understand what he was laughing at! But i was looking...he was listening! Thats the difference, these two guys, are amusing in what they say.

    I find it fasinating that he can watch a tv programme and you can ask him what someone has just said and his responce would be "i dunno!" you ask him what someone said in a 'minecraft' episode he watched 2 hours ago and he relays it word for word.

    I think i was simply worried because it was all he lived to do, he would wake up in a morning and his firsts thought was minecraft, come home from school and it was minecraft. He would watch it in his sleep!! (im being literal there, many i times he would wake up, find his netbook and switch it on while completly asleep!)

    I see what your saying about there being no problem if its something he enjoys. I feel that, i want him to be happy of course i do.

    Lou

  • loulabell said:
    My son has become addicted to this mindless computer game called minecraft. He doesnt play it but watches the videos of people playing it on Youtube. There are thousands done by the same 2 fellas.

    TotalBisuit and Jesse?

    They're AWESOME!

    But, more seriously, yes, we get 'addicted' and 'obsessed' to stuff.

    Is it really such a problem?

    These things we get obsessed by make us happy.

    What would you rather? That your son was depressed?

    Obviously, there are times when the obsessions need to be limited - for example I sometimes forget to eat - or, when I was at school I hardly ever did any homework - and in those situations I suggest setting very clear boundaries.

    It also gives you the perfect motivational reward mechanism - "Do your homework for half-an-hour, then you can watch your Minecraft videos", for example.

    Lastly, I'm curious, why do you think it 'mindless'?

    I'm sure I could find something you do, and enjoy, that I might consider 'mindless'.

    Almost certainly something that you do to relax.

    And that's the point - he enjoys it - he finds it relaxing!

    You may not like it, but so what? You don't have to watch it!

  • This is similar to what I used to do. I was extremely obsessed for 8 years with the actress Kate Winslet, of Titanic fame.

    I used to spend hours on the computer looking at pictures of her, reading  and playing her interviews etc. My Mum used to try and limit my obsession because it was dominating the whole household, but I would go ballistic when she tried to do this, screaming, jumping up and down, throwing things, feeling like my whole world was ending. Most of my tantrums were triggered by my obsessions or 'special interests' as they are also called.

  • Hi,

    Yes I think obsessions are very common in autism. My son is fixated with You Tube, he loves watching videos of various things; user created Thomas the Tank Engine ones of the toys, Angry Birds fan videos. He can get upset when we restrict these but find if we prepare him, or distract him with another activity its much easier. We have two large sand timers, one for five minutes and one for thirty minutes. He has little language so the clear visual indication of time passing really helps. We use these in all sorts of situations, and can now show him five fingers and say five minutes, four fingers and four minutes etc. and he knows what it means. Hope this helps. (Alex is five by the way)

    Luke