Hello all

The best book I've read in the past few months is "Murder Crime on Gallymay" by RR Haywood. It's written by an ex police officer and so it shows the procedures used in modern policing, which I found interesting, and the problems a police officer - who finds himself the only member of the police service on the island due to it being cut off by a storm - has to maintain procedures with only one untrained special constable and a few civilians to help.  Here's the synopsis:

 "The remote and isolated Cornish island of Gallymay was meant to be the perfect place for a break. But things don’t quite go to plan when Jim finds himself reluctantly thrust into a murder investigation, assisted by a ragtag group of well-meaning locals, in a chaotic, heartfelt, and often laugh-out-loud “almost” cosy mystery. Told through police notebooks, witness statements, interview transcripts and body-worn video logs, Murder Crime on Gallymay blends pitch-perfect policing, with laugh-out-loud moments, heartwarming friendships, and a mystery that keeps you guessing until the final page."

You don't say what games your son likes to play, but if you find them anxiety inducing I'd guess they include fighting and possibly racing or sports? I like role playing games which include some fighting, such as Assassins Creed Origins, which is set in Cleopatra's Egypt, or Hogwarts Legacy which is set in the Hogwarts school of Wizardry 100 years before Harry Potter attended. If you want something more gentle, I enjoy Sims 4 which is a life simulation game where you control a "Sim" character, or a whole family of them if you want. You can create your own characters, choose their outfits, build them a home, give them personality traits and an aspiration to follow - for example you might give one the "Painter extraordinaire" aspiration, and fulfilling it includes painting pictures, viewing artworks in a museum/gallery, and reaching a certain level in the painter career. If you're interested in that, there are lots of articles and YouTube videos explaining how it works.

Hello Stuart333 

Thank you for your message - seems you have a lot of fun with plants and yes I always find the watering is what can be hard to maintain and keep up with. When i worked in a garden centre i was always impressed by complex technological kit that people got into for watering - even using an app to control it while on holiday abroad!! I cant really get my head round very techie stuff though so limit how much I have in pots. Like you its gone up and down over the years depending on my capacity to manage it all! Orchids are a real art to care for - im impressed! I once managed the house plant section in the garden centre. Was fun ordering the plants - amazing beings originating from all over the world. I mainly work with organic growing practices in outdoor spaces these days. It really is so wonderful how many ways it is possible to multiply plants - by seed and vegetatively. Its really quite mind blowing when I think of it!  E.g sticking a twig in soil and it may grow roots and then become a shrub /tree ! Its fun to experiment with whats possible.  Is your Metasequoia being grown as a bonsai ? 

Hi Wib - Many thanks for the warm welcome and apologies for slight delay with replying. Im glad you enjoyed the book mention and I too love books too - also on the look out for autism related writing. I got 'The oscialtions' By Kate Fox at christmas and really enjoyed the poems about neurodivergent experience. Please do get in touch if you do read the book i mentioned - im always up for some discussion about them if that interests you too.  I dont get on so well with reading groups unless they happen to be reading books ive already read. lol. I always have a book on the go however the speed with which i read varies a lot and I tend to take it all in very deeply - can't stand the idea of skim reading! Though this slows me down and these days i just accept that and embrace it! 

Seems you have an attraction to plants too - have you thought to share them in the creative space? I would be interested to see some of your photographs. I too often take photos of plants - far more than of people! I especially love close ups of the texture and colours and shapes, they amaze me. Art and pattern in nature is awesome and inspiring. 

Best wishes JB

Yes Sayaka Murata is amazing after reading convenience store woman I had to quickly read all her other books. I just haven’t read her new one yet I think it’s vanishing world have you read this one ? 

In terms of books this year. I just finished neurotribes by Steve Silberman. An amazing non fiction book about the history of autism. I’m now reading this is going to hurt which is a non fiction booked about the experiences of junior doctors.

I’m also currently reading the Spanish love deception because I’m very partial to a cheesy romance book. Recently I also got two books using a Waterstones gift card these are a little life and green dot. So, I’m excited to read those. They are both fiction books.

I got a kindle for Christmas and loving it so far !! 

Thanks _Poetchi Books and lists are a good combination! I like to keep lists of what I've read each year too.

Hello JennyB , I'm just finding myself again, but I had wanted to say hi as I'm also an autistic mother in my 40's who got diagnosed in November.

My kids are younger, 11(diagnosed December) and 8(suspected). 

I'm an animator, and love to do art when I get the chance (which is about every 6 months currently).  I like reading and I do like poetry too, I like to memorise and recite ones I like, along with more mathematical things like pi.

I look forward to reading more of your posts!

Good to hear from you Cinnabar_wing  hope you are well I’ll get on this !! 

A book post would be lovely.

Oh my gosh- Sayaka Murata is my favourite author at the minute! Everything by her is just exquisite… 

I’d love to know what is on your list to be read this year as I am struggling to know what to read next!! I was thinking about actually posting my top 10 reads of the year on here …

Thank you so much for the recommendations !! I love Sayaka Murata’s books and have read them all and I have also read the reason I jump and enjoyed it !! 

I have actually been on the lookout for my fiction books with autistic main character so I’ll defo check out interesting facts about space thank you for the recommendation !! 

Hey Wib  ! I’m not sure if you like reading fiction, but I read a few books this year with autistic main characters that I really related to- 

- “Convenience store woman” by Sayaka Murata

^ The main character isn’t confirmed autistic but tbh all of Muratas main characters are very autistic coded and a lot of people relate this book to the autistic experience. 

- “Interesting facts about space” by Emily R Austin

^ Autistic main character who through the book realises she’s autistic. It made me feel less alone in the world and like I was looking into my own brain, a really great read! 

For a bit of non-fiction, I read “The reason I jump” by Naoki Higashida 

^ This book is written by a 13 year old autistic boy who is non-verbal, and is a really cool insight into his brain. I didn’t relate to all of his words because every autistic person is different, but it was a really cool read 

Thank you for your response.  Yes, I relate a lot to your experience. I found out just in time about autism, my husband mentioned one more child, but I know I wouldn't be able to manage it. Plus my age, now I'm 37, so being a 40 years old mother with a little baby, again nappies and formula and those nights without sleep would be a nightmare again. At that time I felt like I was in a wrong body, but I was 33 when I gave birth to my daughter. 

It's hard but I slowly start managing it to find time for myself and my world. I love listening to Brian Cox, Neil Tyson DeGrasse and a youruber and scientist Anton Petrov. I love the way he speaks, without gesticulating and explains everything clearly. I also read books from Neil Tyson DeGrasse and I also like the theory of paleocontact spread by Erich von Däniken. He gets criticised a lot, there might be mistakes, but this theory is interesting and for me logical. I red his books too. Gaining more knowledge about space and in quantum physics helps me in writing new stories.

I don't watch many movies, because of sensory differences I struggle to sit in front of a screen. I get overwhelmed easily, but I really enjoyed the movie arrival. 

Hello.

I've tried growing lots, I tend to add them till I can barely move, then it gets overcrowded with too many pots and tubs as well, I can't keep up with the watering and reduce them.

The house is filled with orchids and seedlings in spring.

I grow lots from seed, e.g. a 10ft crab apple, a metasequoia, a laburnum tree that is too big now, several mahonias, acers, a fir tree. I tried roses from seed too (not really worth the effort) and cuttings. I have a large 12ft tall palm tree

I do write poetry! That is so cool to know you write poetry too- I am still very much in the processing phase of my diagnosis too, but I have had a few little bits of inspiration that hit me now and again, and I am hoping to channel that more into my writing now that I understand my brain a bit better. 

We grow a lot of plants and vegetables in our garden at work, and I would say my favourite that we have grown is Nasturtiums. They are really lovely to look at and also the leaves make amazing pesto! The seed pods can also be pickled and it’s really delicious! I don’t know a lot about plants, but I appreciate them for their healing properties as well as their beauty. 

You’ve inspired me to also post something on the creative forum as I haven’t done so yet! It’s been really lovely to see what other people have created. I’d love to know more about your writing 

Hi Lotus, thank you for messaging and for the kind welcome  

Im wondering if you have read a great book recently that you are happy to share about? And what sort of video games do you play? My son would probably like me to get into playing video games only i find what he likes playing a little anxiety inducing! 

Hello _Poetchi - thank you for this friendly response 

As Poet is in your name - im wondering if you write poetry? Please tell me more about what you create and have you shared work on the thread you mention? Thank you for letting me know about that - I may well. I tend to write poetry and so Im hoping my autistic experience will surface into it - its hasnt yet as Im still very much in the processing stage!

Gosh - my fave plant - i probably have one or 2 in all categories! In the uk i just love roses and many herbacious perennials. Ive always been fond of Astrantia major with its paper-like petals. Strelitzia is wonderful - bird of paradise plant.

Do you like plants too? 

Hi Jenny and welcome to the community it’s lovely to meet you !! I haven’t read the book you mentioned but I’m a massive book worm and I’m on the hunt for more autism related books so I’ll add it to the list !! 

I also think it’s super cool that you’re a gardener and that your special interest is plants. I love going to gardens and photo graphing pretty plants and flowers.

Hello - thanks for getting in touch 

Alien life is relatable!  I made an alien sculpture from clay not so long ago in an art workshop.  I havent read much science fiction though im curious. Where do you recommed starting?! Thats brilliant about painting for sci fi and writing it too - can imagine you have a lot of fun with it. I'm currently reading 'Orbital' by Samantha Harvey - based on people living in the international space station and its fascinating. I cant decide if Id be brave enough to travel into space if i had the opportunity, or if id want to!! Likely not a decision I will ever have to make - phew! Lol

I enjoyed the toddler stage though its a while ago now it seems like yesterday and i remember being very tired much of the time. I wish you well with it - its important to rest and find ways to regularly keep your own interests alive, even if in a small way. I would often join in with creative activities with my son - still do in fact. I cant help wondering how it would have been if id known about autism back then. I was good at pacing myself and resting (for me and my child) only i often felt guilty we didnt seem to do as much as others and i couldnt work to earn as much alongside parenting -  as much as many other mothers seemed to manage.

Many thanks for getting in touch and from America too! - i get the impression that in many areas in America the understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity is a little ahead of us here.??.. 

I have experienced mixed emotions post diagnosis though mostly ive had a deep sense of positivity and clarity for my future. Im so glad i went for it.  Now I have something I can lean into learning more about and find support / advocate better for myself etc. For me a diagnosis was important because i was so full of doubts owing to other peoples opinions of me and so I suppose that prevented me leaning in with learning more and finding support. Its fascinating to learn more about how gender plays a part too  - with how autism 'presents' ( though of course we have to be careful about generalisations). Thats great about your special connection with your daughter as a result of autism. I have wondered for others in my family and thought if I start the process of finding out first it may get the ball rolling for others! ( Though this wasnt the main motivation) 

Plants have always fascinated me though I dont always feel fulfilled enough by gardening ( lots of weeding and quite physically demanding) It works well as an escape plan when ive become overwhelmed in other work places eg open plan office environments etc! I often wonder how i can turn gardening back into a hobby again one day and retrain in / develop something more fulfilling to me and more suitable as i get older. Its ok for now though. 

What sort of writing do you do?

Hi, welcome to the community.  

I'm a mother to a toddler,  not officially diagnosed,  self discovered and suspected by my therapist. I love aliens and space and watch, read anything about it, also write sci fi stories and paint pictures for them in graphic programs on pc.