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Exams coming up, refusing to revise

Hailzarella
over 8 years ago

My son has Aspergers and will be 15 soon.  He has started working towards GCSE's.  The problem is he just won't revise.  Then when it's time to sit an assessment or actual exam papers (he's sat two already) he panics and gets really upset that he's going to fail. So because of this he now has the thought that hes going to fail anyway so what's the point? Has anyone got any ideas how I can get him to first of all revise and secondly to teach him how to stop getting into a state?

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Your son sounds very much like I was as his age (or even now in my forties!)

    Possibly the most important thing you can do is to emphasise that you will love him just as much however his exam results turn out.  My Dad and teachers particularly had always hoped for me to be the first in the family to go to University, and that added a great deal to my anxiety, even though the intention was well meaning.  So make sure it's clear to him that your love, help and guidance is unconditional.

    A more practical thing that may help is to sit down with him and try to structure his revision. One of the problems with the school exam system is that exams in many different subjects are all crammed together in a short space of time.  People with Asperger's often struggle with multi-tasking and planning.  We can't see the wood for the trees, so tend to procrastinate - putting things off until the last minute because we can't find an obvious "starting point" to begin from (or, we find too many starting points and can't decide which one). 

    Planning some kind of "revision timetable" with him may help him to get a clearer picture of how much he has to do, and when.  Once a plan has been finalised and pinned up somewhere, that is a big source of anxiety pushed aside, as the 'planning' stage of the task no longer overlaps with the 'doing' stage - and that is one of the hardest kinds of multi-tasking for many of us on the spectrum.

Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Your son sounds very much like I was as his age (or even now in my forties!)

    Possibly the most important thing you can do is to emphasise that you will love him just as much however his exam results turn out.  My Dad and teachers particularly had always hoped for me to be the first in the family to go to University, and that added a great deal to my anxiety, even though the intention was well meaning.  So make sure it's clear to him that your love, help and guidance is unconditional.

    A more practical thing that may help is to sit down with him and try to structure his revision. One of the problems with the school exam system is that exams in many different subjects are all crammed together in a short space of time.  People with Asperger's often struggle with multi-tasking and planning.  We can't see the wood for the trees, so tend to procrastinate - putting things off until the last minute because we can't find an obvious "starting point" to begin from (or, we find too many starting points and can't decide which one). 

    Planning some kind of "revision timetable" with him may help him to get a clearer picture of how much he has to do, and when.  Once a plan has been finalised and pinned up somewhere, that is a big source of anxiety pushed aside, as the 'planning' stage of the task no longer overlaps with the 'doing' stage - and that is one of the hardest kinds of multi-tasking for many of us on the spectrum.

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