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Siblings

annajw23

Hello,

My DD, 13, recently diagnosed with autism. She is being supported at school, and we have a ND trained counsellor outside of school that she sees once a week. It’s a learning curve for us all but slowly learning more about how to support her, triggers etc.

i also have a DS, 10. We do not think he is autistic. I’m struggling to get the balance right between ensuring home is a safe place for my DD, calm etc and meeting his needs for his emotional well being too. For example this morning my DD was getting ready for school, she has a routine each morning and we leave her to calmly get ready. My DS and I were in the kitchen and he made a joke at something he found funny at school the day before and we were having a bit of banter, but she found this a bit too much and it appeared to heighten her anxiety.

i am trying soo much to get it right for both of their needs. I’m talking to my DS about his sisters needs and supporting him to understand and therefore be able to support her too. He does tend to get a lot of her frustration/overwhelm directed at him (normal sibling rivalry or more?). I want him to feel safe in his home to be himself but also don’t want to overwhelm my daughter unnecessarily as home is her safe place too.

Any advice? 

Parents

  • Hi annajw23,

    Thank you for sharing this to our online community.

    It sounds like you’re trying your very best to balance both children’s needs, and making sure they both feel safe, understood and supported at home. It is not an easy balance to navigate, particularly when you are all still learning and finding what works.

    I’m sure our community members will have some helpful advice and experiences to share. In the meantime, I have some resources that you may find useful.

    Our website has a diagnosis hub, this includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before during and after diagnosis. You may want to visit the other resources on our website, we have advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, socialising and relationships, communication and education: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance

    You can try searching on our Autism Services Directory for diagnostic services in your local area. The Directory also includes listings for support and social groups for autistic people, their families and friends.

    We also have a guide for parents and carers which contains some resources on behaviour and support strategies that you might find helpful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/family-relationships-a-guide-for-parents-and-carer

    I also wanted to share that our Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service provides emotional support to parents and carers regarding their autistic children/grown-up children. The service is provided by trained volunteers with personal experience as the parent of an autistic child or adult. Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences. To request a call, complete a web enquiry form here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline

    I hope you find this helpful.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Rishma Mod.

Reply

  • Hi annajw23,

    Thank you for sharing this to our online community.

    It sounds like you’re trying your very best to balance both children’s needs, and making sure they both feel safe, understood and supported at home. It is not an easy balance to navigate, particularly when you are all still learning and finding what works.

    I’m sure our community members will have some helpful advice and experiences to share. In the meantime, I have some resources that you may find useful.

    Our website has a diagnosis hub, this includes information, practical and multimedia resources to support autistic people and their families before during and after diagnosis. You may want to visit the other resources on our website, we have advice and guidance on a wide range of information about autism, socialising and relationships, communication and education: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance

    You can try searching on our Autism Services Directory for diagnostic services in your local area. The Directory also includes listings for support and social groups for autistic people, their families and friends.

    We also have a guide for parents and carers which contains some resources on behaviour and support strategies that you might find helpful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/family-relationships-a-guide-for-parents-and-carer

    I also wanted to share that our Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service provides emotional support to parents and carers regarding their autistic children/grown-up children. The service is provided by trained volunteers with personal experience as the parent of an autistic child or adult. Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences. To request a call, complete a web enquiry form here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline

    I hope you find this helpful.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Rishma Mod.

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