Hi,
I’m a struggling mum at my wits end hoping for some help or advice.
My 19 year old son was diagnosed with autism 18 months ago. He has always had difficulty socially: mis reading social cues, struggling to make friends, doesn’t do conversation, but managed to stay in mainstream education with minimal support until last year.
Just before his diagnosis, he began completing short rituals like tapping on objects before using them, wearing clothes for exactly 3 days, standing in a particular position for a certain amount of time. But he still went about his day to day business.
However, over this last year, the rituals and routines have become much worse (they increased in severity just before his end of year exams) and are now taking over his life. He has stopped going to a club he used to go to and two weeks ago packed in his college course.
A typical day for him is getting up late, spending 45 minutes in the bathroom (most of it stood in a particular position and completing handwashing - he has to wash his hands in a particular way and runs the tap for ages), breakfast (which takes him around 2 hours as he does lots of rituals before each mouthful) and has to hold his drink in a particular way and drain every last drop out of it, getting dressed takes an hour as he completes rituals while putting on his deodorant, clothes and while cleaning his teeth. He will then sit on the sofa with his head bowed staring, not doing anything. He has even stopped watching TV and doesn’t talk to us.
It’s similar at lunch and dinner times - which take hours. If I try to clear away his plate before he’s completely finished, he becomes agitated.
Showering also takes him ages and he will stay up into the early hours (sometimes 4/5 am) to complete his routines.
We struggle to get him out of the house - even for a short walk - as it interferes with his rituals.
I’ve pleaded with him to go to see the GP but at the moment, he’s refusing.
He has had a block of ‘Talking Therapy’ but he didn’t really engage.
I’m not sure if this behaviour is due to his autism or his mental health, or a bit of both.
Hoping someone who has been through something similar can help me understand this behaviour a little better or offer some help and support.
Thank you.