Hi,
I am a mum of 4 (aged 4, 8, 12 and 23), I've noticed over the years that my 12 year old seems to process emotions very differently to his siblings. I have for a long time suspected there might be something there, and raised this with teachers at primary school who did not seem concerned.
The situation has amplified since he transitioned to secondary school in September, and I am seeking advice on next steps, and also beating myself up for not following my gut sooner.
My observations:
1. My son can become highly emotional (mostly tears) for very small things, even things like sitting down amd talking about emotions.
2. We've had many dramas since he started secondary school (they were smaller dramas at primary), the slightest comment from another child is precieved as a verbal attack. More recently the rough and tumble of 12 year old peers has been very hard for him, he perceives alevery situation as aggressive, upon sitting down and gathering the facts behind each situation, I am satisfied it's playful banter and horseplay. I raised this with his secondary school and they have been fantastic at providing ELSA interventions to help him read social cues, he has a pass so that of he feels emotional or overwhelmed he can go and visit the Haven facility for support in a quiet space.
3. He finds noisy situations stressful and cannot focus on conversations in there environments.
4. Bites his fingernails, toenails, t shirts almost obsessively.
5. Needs to know plans the day ahead and becomes anxious if we are spontaneous and don't articulate plans. Almost the need to know the what next to everything, we can be in the car to go shopping and he will be enquiring about lunch plans, dinner plans, what shops we will visit etc.
6. Highly intelligent and excels in mathematical subjects.
7. Will rant of we need him to stop an a activity such as gaming, finds it very hard to self regulate and will argue persistently on the back of these decisions.
He is a very friendly child and quite social, since he could talk he's had no issues speaking with new people and initiating conversations which has always been my reasoning for not thinking there's something underlying, I appreciate I'm no specialist and am starting to realise through research that ASD can be a combination of things and not necessarily meeting every check box in terms of symptoms and behaviours.
I'm looking for advice on whether screening is the best way forwards, I can see that CAMHS waiting list is around 2 years, I have also read that we have the right to choose under the NHS so keen to hear from anyone who has done this successfully in the Hampshire area. I am willing to save to do this privately need be if that is the quicker option, so again welcome advice on providers locally who facilitate this.
In the meantime I'd welcome feedback from others regarding my thoughts on whether ASD could be at play here, and advice on adjustments we can make as parents to help my son.
Many thanks