High functioning asd son refusing help

Blue said:

Yet again i am going to be aggressively blunt and honest with if you allowed your child to procreate at young age your are partly responsible for your current situation, you are also partly responsible for the way your son has turned out because you did not dealing with your sons negative behaviour sooner no amount of past trauma or excuse will justify you allowing this current situation.

I can assure you we did not 'let' any of this happen. He was punished as a child for his actions never understandings when it never worked due to not getting a diagnosis till age 15.

I don't know what else to do. The only way I can see this changing is if he sees he has a problem,needs help and gets help. He knows I will support him on the way 

Blue if you know you are being "aggressively blunt", perhaps think before you post your reply. Don't forget the person on the other end is a human with feelings who is asking for help, not judgement. 

Blue if you know you are being "aggressively blunt", perhaps think before you post your reply. Don't forget the person on the other end is a human with feelings who is asking for help, not judgement. 

Yes, i admit i was relatively angry when wrote my last post and some of the things i said was wrong and some of the things i might say in this post may be wrong but aren't you as sick and tired of these posts from neurotypical parents of autistic adults as i am.

Mumof3boys indirectly asked multiple questions in her post but none of them where to do with trying to understand her son's way of thinking or point of view. She directly said she doesn't "want to put up with this anymore" how do you think her son interprets being told this frequently and regularly it going to lead mental and emotional stress. The Community Page might as well have a new category called " how to get rid of your autistic adult child" and " how do i make autistic adult not my problem anymore.   

Being a parent doesn't end when your child turns sixteen, it a lifelong obligation and it's a parents responsibility to teach and instill skills for their child to become as responsible and independent as they can. The decisions this mother has made has not only put stress on her autistic adult sons and endangered her life and the rest of her families and I know from experience that getting help for the negative aspects of someone having autism can be difficult. But autism doesn't just happen like a cold/flu and their must of been red flags over the years while her son was growing up and the mother in this case buried her hand in sand. her son is nineteen and would attended school from the mid 2000s  where Autism, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and other learning disorder where known about to a quite competent understanding from most educational professionals.

the mother has real no empathy for her adult son because she can't fundamentally understand why he so angry and frustrated and has failed to understand and create solutions that work not only work for her but also for her adult autistic son needs.Yes some people are plain and simple aggressive cruel but some people are forced into a flight and fight response in the same way someone like ourselves might become overstimulated into an autism meltdown.    

certain life aspects are not as easy as when this woman was her sons age, yes we may have more technology but for someone with autism that technology has made multiple barriers like more competition for employment. It's going to take a person with autism more time and in some cases a lot of time with some sort of support to get to the same emotional maturity as their neurotypical peers. You can't expect someone with a autism to function under extreme pressures mentally or physically of what considered normal expectation for his age because the pressure will manifest into meltdowns, shutdowns, aggressive behaviour and even antisocial behaviour.

Neurotypical parents of autistic adults who don't understand this knowingly and unknowingly and intentionally force unachievable expectations and goals on to their child, most of the time the verbally compare their autistic child with someone else's neurotypical child or their own neurotypical children usually putting unfair and unachievable time frames for them to complete tasks and goals. If these parents actual compared their autistic child with another successful autistic person with any knowledge of that person background and upbringing they will would notice they were given the time and support to achieve their success by going at the own pace              

Yet again from experience i understand fully well that this woman is similar to my own mother who also has experienced domestic abuse from her previous husband and the father of my three other children and is still experience domestic violence from her current husband who she has been married to my entire life. I know fully well the influence that a child who witness domestic violence.

I'm the youngest of my four siblings and some of the aggressive and abusive behaviour they witness their father doing to my mother they later went on to do to me throughout my childhood. I also know from what i have witness the psychological damage it did to my own mother ability to accept me for having autism and where she cant understand me. Even though this happened with me my mother has no excuse for ignoring getting assessed and sorted before i became an adult or some of the horrific things that she done physically, emotionally or mentally. Its mother job to sort themselves out so they can care for their children, if they can and will not deal with trauma then honestly that blame partly falls on them.