Published on 12, July, 2020
My son 19, was diagnosed in 2017. He has and always had meltdowns with high aggression. Things in the house have got broke, holes in doors,things thrown at me , verbal abuse e.t.c. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I've advised him to go to anger management courses,courses around asd or anything that could help.him . He will say yes but it never happens. Today I was helping him move his drawers out his bedroom cos they're broke and I said he could borrow my unit till he found a new one. Cos he couldn't fit everything back on the unit he started swearing,shouting e.t.c..His 5 year old was there saying stuff to him he told him to piss off. Threw a pot noodle down stairs and chucked a towel in my face. Now I know I should have removed my little one and I could see him getting a bit anxious whilst I was moving his stuff but he's be ok one time and not another he's so unpredictable. Just fed up with feeling like everything is my fault like I didn't react to him the right way or didn't pick up on something. The reason why I've posted this now is the fact his biological dad who was mentally and physically abusive to me did a similar thing . He called me a stupid ••••••• *** and got me round the throat just for tidying his wardrobe. It just brought it all back and I don't want my son to end up doing the same thing wether it be to me,his future partners or children. I do I get him to see he can't do the things that he does to people and think it's ok?
[Edited by Moderator]
I have sent a message to the support line on here regarding advice,still waiting for a reply.
I have told him numerous times he can't act or speak like this, he always says sorry and he knows but it keeps happening.Don't get me wrong 80% of the time is he a lovely caring young man but if things don't go his way e.t.c. that's when he starts being horrible.
The five year old is mine by the way.
He definitely isn't ready to move out.,so I couldn't go that to him. I'm his carer and take care of his money and I know what he and isn't capable of.
I have called the police once a few years ago but he had calmed down by then and I've come close to calling them again. My issue is I don't know if it's the asd thats causing the violence or something else.
thats ok,,Mumof3boys, I dont doubt you for a moment. I dont have enough experience to say if its ASD or OTHER. My guess is it ASD ,,,,, not dealing with criticism correctly and I am only saying that because I cant handle critism myself.
Is there any chance he is acting this way because he saw his dad act like this? Just because he has an autism diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean everything will be related to autism. If he thinks this is how men act then it's how he will act.
He might benefit from having a male mentor or support worker who he can talk to about what goes on in his head when this kicks off.
Is he still under CAMHS or at school? They can usually signpost to support services or put in a referral. Failing that try your GP.
This is definitely behaviour that needs nipped in the bud, he's turning on you but it could be his brother next or lifting his hands to a girlfriend and then he will be in a whole heap of trouble. I'd tell your younger child's school what's going on and that you're trying to get support, you don't want him saying something at school and people having no context to it.