Published on 12, July, 2020
My son 19, was diagnosed in 2017. He has and always had meltdowns with high aggression. Things in the house have got broke, holes in doors,things thrown at me , verbal abuse e.t.c. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I've advised him to go to anger management courses,courses around asd or anything that could help.him . He will say yes but it never happens. Today I was helping him move his drawers out his bedroom cos they're broke and I said he could borrow my unit till he found a new one. Cos he couldn't fit everything back on the unit he started swearing,shouting e.t.c..His 5 year old was there saying stuff to him he told him to piss off. Threw a pot noodle down stairs and chucked a towel in my face. Now I know I should have removed my little one and I could see him getting a bit anxious whilst I was moving his stuff but he's be ok one time and not another he's so unpredictable. Just fed up with feeling like everything is my fault like I didn't react to him the right way or didn't pick up on something. The reason why I've posted this now is the fact his biological dad who was mentally and physically abusive to me did a similar thing . He called me a stupid ••••••• *** and got me round the throat just for tidying his wardrobe. It just brought it all back and I don't want my son to end up doing the same thing wether it be to me,his future partners or children. I do I get him to see he can't do the things that he does to people and think it's ok?
[Edited by Moderator]
that sounds horrific and a bit scary. Your son has no idea what he is doing. I mean he doesn't understand the damage he is doing. You may need to start recording/journaling each of the violent episodes. what happened and what was events leading up to it.
I think u may have PTSD from your partner attack, just a guess, and your son unfortunately is making you revisit that event.
let him cool down a bit and make it clear he must not talk to you like that again. I would suggest he moves out but you will probably be the first to poo poo that suggestion.
If the attacks continue please feel free to involve the police. But in a careful cautious way. If they arrived say at your house, there could be a meltdown/violence and an "assaulting a police officer" charge could result. Police dont really understand Autistic people. I mean they would not necessarily recognise a violent meltdown like u can and decide to restrain him and then he would maybe fight ...........
1. could u ring this parent to parent emotional support line / use the contact form, to see what they think is the best way forward.
www.autism.org.uk/.../parent-to-parent
2. Please talk to your GP about some counselling around the attack on you so that that doesn't get any worse with constant exposure to violence.
more people will reply here over next few days, so please revisit here.