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GP doesn't get it!

Eliza67

Can I offload?  Just been to see GP with my 18 year old autistic daughter because she keeps having 'breakdowns'.  She gets overwhelmed with emotion and can't cope with her college work. She asked me to make appt.  She has never had friends and gets very lonely, she has never been too anyone else's house, party and rarely has anyone to ours as she says everyone turns her down.  She relies on me a lot, which is fine but obviously that isn't what I want for her.  Anyway, been to docs to ask for help (thinking counselling or poss anxiety meds) but we were made to feel that the problem is me!!!  He wanted me to leave the room to talk to her on her own.  SHE didn't want me to and had asked me to speak on her behalf.  She said Mum knows everything about me, there is no need for her to leave.  The GP then said what she needs is too make friends!!! Oh, if only it were that easy.  He wanted to know who her best friend is - she said 'don't have one'.  'you must do, who do you call when you want to go out somewhere or too the pictures'. I interjected and said that is part of the problem that she struggles to make friends.  His advice was for her to talk to people and make friends and cut the apron strings from Mum.  We both came out feeling crap.  She cried all the way home. I get that autism is a spectrum disorder but I would have thought most people appreciate that autistic people 'generally' struggle with friendships and thought a GP would be more understanding.  Wouldn't be going to him again. 

  • in reply to NAS50003

    Unfortunately only 2 doctors at our surgery so not much to choose from.

    Funnily enough I have been looking into groups.  I really don't get why she doesn't have anyone to hang round with.  She has a real sense of fun and a great sense of humour.

    Re - 'teaching' professionals.  My son is also on the spectrum but his main problem is he's severely Dyspraxic. I spent most of my time teaching others about the condition as it's hugely misunderstood.  I think I'm going to have to change my mindset re autism as I thought most people, esp professionals would be more empathic.

    Just googled the book and will give it a go.  Thank you x

  • in reply to Eliza67

    Im not surprised at th doctors reaction. maybe ask the receptionist which doctor would be the most educayed about autism. Also you might find locally that there are councillors that deal with autistic teenagers that might be able to help your daughter develop social skills. 

    I'm just reading Dr Ross Greene the explosive child. It's made a huge difference to how I treat my daughter and how I expect other people to interact with her. 

    don't be frightened of saying to professionals you don't obviously understand the autistic spectrum do you or what is your training in autism because a lot of them are not trained and know less than yourself.

    the other thing I just thought of for you would be to find out if there's a local ASD group locally for parents and carers and through that she might be able to meet someone her own age group .Who she might get on with.there's some groups on Facebook where you can post and you might be able to meet up with other people with her locally.

    I wonder if she is obsessing on being accepted by people externally too much and you need to bring a back round to accepting the way she is and her own interests and passions. So maybe if she finds it's frustrating being with lots of people in her own peer group she could join an interest street with people who are s mixed age group and you could go with her.

    My heart really goes out to you.x

  • in reply to NAS39248

    Thanks I'll try your suggestions.  So annoying when you are asking for help to come out feeling worse.  

  • I would seriously recommend submitting a formal complaint about the gp's lack of awareness and treatment of your daughter. To offhandedly suggest she simply goes out and makes friends is showing a serious lack of understanding of autism. Unfortunately alot of gp's don't understand it might be worth asking if the practice has anyone who has received recent autism training you may get more understanding from them. My daughters gp laughed at me when I took her in for sleep problems he said and I quote " all parents complain their children don't sleep" ( she only slept 3 hours a night and was only 4 at the time) 

    Have you had a look at the services directory on this website there might be something available in your area