Setting rules for aspergers/ocd 14 year old

Still never really solved this problem. How much do we let go and how much do we put our foot down with?

Sometimes we find it difficult to work out what behaviour is him being awkward and him having issues. We KNOW that not all his behaviour is OCD/aspergerts at the moment.

If you remember he has these bathroom rituals to dow ith his OCD. Involved completely spraying the bathroom with spray disinfectant and using lots of hand gel. Trouble is its not just before use.

After use, he likes to spray disinfectant onto the toliet, floor etc and leave it wet. For some reason thats his thing. Also, in the past he smears hand gel on the surfaces of things too. Public toilets hes worse - and in the past had literally plastered every inch of the floor with toilet paper.

We've tried to explain to him that OK we understand but he does need to leave the toilet in a decent state for others to use. At home you literally have to spend 10 minutes cleaning before you can use the toilet.

Should we let this go because its his thing or telling him no way?

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  • Two kids on the spectrum, both now in 20s (male & female). In my experience, if I applied pressure in one direction, that pressure usually came out in another direction or area. So you'd shut one door only to find another one opens, IYKWIM.

    Is the reason he cleans afterwards so that it is germ free for the rest of you? In case anything 'bad' might happen to the family as a result of not going through the ritual of cleaning?