Published on 12, July, 2020
Title.
I'm really struggling at the moment with my GCSEs coming up. I've been doing my best in class but I really struggle due to my various conditions (AuDHD, chronic pain, anxiety, etc) to stay in there. I've been put on independent study in my school's SENCO building but I'm struggling to self-motivate because I'm struggling to care about what I'm studying. I love learning and I have nigh encyclopedic knowledge of my special interests. I'm struggling the most with English, which is ironic considering it's the one subject I'm allegedly "naturally gifted" at. I know that I can do what is asked of me, I wrote essays for fun during Covid about anything and everything and I'm currently writing a video essay that I hope to put on YouTube, but I'm struggling massively because I simply do not care about the material provided.
An Inspector Calls, for example -- I'm struggling with the character analysis because every single character is so bare-bones and stereotypical that they annoy me, as well as the fact that I've heard every single aspect of their characters regurgitated at me dozens of times that I'm now sick of hearing it. I can analyse characters just fine, I frequently go on long tangents about this sort of thing when it's related to my favourites. I know that I could easily get a Grade 9 essay if I was able to write about the intricacies of, for example, Thancred's character arc in Final Fantasy XIV. I understand why I can't but it is still so frustrating. I only need to pass my GCSEs to get onto the course I want (5 exams with at least grade 4), but my work in English feels inadequate. It's the unfortunate leftover of my primary school hailing me as an English "prodigy" -- I burned myself out once the work stopped being too easy for me, which I now realise is because of my autism.
Does anyone have any tips on making this process bearable? Because revision is all I can do from now until my GCSEs start anyway even though I'd rather use my time to read my book, since I know I'll pass anyway even if the essay is the worst thing I will ever write. No "autism advice for teens" sites have anything close to what I'm asking.
(Apologies for putting up two threads within an hour of each other, this was the question I joined this forum to ask!)
I'm ASD (diagnosed) and was told I was also ADHD But would need to formally get that diagnosed to have it on my record, I haven't yet..
I have found that now I know why I do things (or don't want to do them!) I can trick my lack of interest in something into becoming an interest. It's all about motivation.
If I don't like the subject of something I need to do and can't commit, I find another motivation for doing it, usually "I don't want people to think im rubbish at this so I'll have to knuckle down", then I think some mechanism from my autistic masking kicks in and makes me pretend to be interested enough to get it done. Failing that I tell myself I'm likely to get sacked if I don't and my self serving ADHD then gets a slap from my more self preserving autism.
I guess I'm trying to say "find another reason to want it, rather than liking it" ??
Once the exams are over you probably won't ever need to think about the subject in that way again.
Good luck! Hope you get on ok.