Published on 12, July, 2020
Title.
I'm really struggling at the moment with my GCSEs coming up. I've been doing my best in class but I really struggle due to my various conditions (AuDHD, chronic pain, anxiety, etc) to stay in there. I've been put on independent study in my school's SENCO building but I'm struggling to self-motivate because I'm struggling to care about what I'm studying. I love learning and I have nigh encyclopedic knowledge of my special interests. I'm struggling the most with English, which is ironic considering it's the one subject I'm allegedly "naturally gifted" at. I know that I can do what is asked of me, I wrote essays for fun during Covid about anything and everything and I'm currently writing a video essay that I hope to put on YouTube, but I'm struggling massively because I simply do not care about the material provided.
An Inspector Calls, for example -- I'm struggling with the character analysis because every single character is so bare-bones and stereotypical that they annoy me, as well as the fact that I've heard every single aspect of their characters regurgitated at me dozens of times that I'm now sick of hearing it. I can analyse characters just fine, I frequently go on long tangents about this sort of thing when it's related to my favourites. I know that I could easily get a Grade 9 essay if I was able to write about the intricacies of, for example, Thancred's character arc in Final Fantasy XIV. I understand why I can't but it is still so frustrating. I only need to pass my GCSEs to get onto the course I want (5 exams with at least grade 4), but my work in English feels inadequate. It's the unfortunate leftover of my primary school hailing me as an English "prodigy" -- I burned myself out once the work stopped being too easy for me, which I now realise is because of my autism.
Does anyone have any tips on making this process bearable? Because revision is all I can do from now until my GCSEs start anyway even though I'd rather use my time to read my book, since I know I'll pass anyway even if the essay is the worst thing I will ever write. No "autism advice for teens" sites have anything close to what I'm asking.
(Apologies for putting up two threads within an hour of each other, this was the question I joined this forum to ask!)
The quickest and easiest way to kill a love of a book, film or play is to have to study it for GCSE or O levels if your as old as me. I've known people with a real passion for Shakespeare for example, but for the one they were made to study at school.
I was told by my special needs tutor at uni to write down various bits of information in bullet points in coloured pens, on cards and stick them on the wall, a different colour for each subject. I'd glance at them during the day, but for me it worked and the information stuck long enough to get through the exams. I dont' know if this will work for you, but try not to get in a flap about it all, EVERYBODY feels the same, even if they loved the book, play or film before having to do it for an exam.
Honestly this is one of the main reasons I decided I didn't want to pursue film academically. I had been considering it but genuinely, as an enjoyer of "film snob" films I don't want them ruined for me because some underpaid uni prof is looking way too deep into it. The colourful pens/post-its sounds like an interesting course of action! I fear it may be too late for the full extent of that method but I have been doing something similar (I highlight all of my notes in no particular code just so they pop out more and my brain stays engaged with them) for a few years!