Published on 12, July, 2020
I tried writing this a few times over the past couple days but I was having trouble but thats kind of the point of this post.
I dont talk very often out loud (unless its about my special interest and im with people im comfortable with) but online I can write wayyy more. I usually even annoy people with how much I write when I text/email/etc but the last couple days I keep trying to comment on things on here but I changed my mind and didnt send it. I think I only made 4ish comments and they were pretty short than my usual. I dont know why I cant write right now, its like I dont feel like it, mixed with I cant find the words I want. I was just wondering if anybody else has had this before and if theres a way I can get past it?
I've struggled a lot with trying to participate on forums/social media, even tho like you I love writing and can't reign it in. Then I'll get more and more anxious that everything's very noisy, including me, and I lose all sense of who I am and start worrying about fitting in and who I'm really talking to and asking why are they talking to me?
Things also start seeming meaningless then, so I half think of writing or post and delete etc.
I think even though it's writing rather than talking it's fast and interactive and therefore more like talking than writing in reality?
And maybe no one's very interesting right now? Hehe...
I don't think it's worth worrying about it, I think just take your time and write/talk when you have something to say. It's hard to feel present but I've come to the conclusion if I try too hard I'll just burn out and run away like usual.