What are you doing for Christmas?

Great, I won't (I've never possessed any since the 80s).

Yes, untangling indeed, it's the future in many ways imo.

My family are like 'repelling magnets' (and historically for generations too, it appears to run in the family in our case. I left home when I was 17 and moved to Devon from the northwest). Fast forward many years and I've been staying with my mother (not at the original family home that I left when 17, a house she shared with her last husband for over 20 years, in the same small town though) a few days each week for the last 2 years. We are still repelling magnets, I'm glad to have done it though nevertheless and at the same time hope to 'move beyond it all' before too long, hopefully.

Yes, what's it all about? I enjoyed an omelette with my favourite fillings as my main Christmas Day meal on one occasion in recent years.

Good point well made imo.

Yes Allyboo, the forum continues........ but please don't bring tinsel.

Ben

Yes, another 'racket' in many ways imo. Why particularly since WWII?

And me.

I only joined this NAS forum etc into this year so have never experienced being on it during the festive period. I presume it continues as usual during that time too, so that's something 

When I was a teenager I gradually became aware that I hated the up and down, high and then low of the whole 'festive period' thing (as I have enough difficulty with that at the 'best of times' and is heightened (and encouraged to be so) during such times) and resent what it's all about, in many ways. I decided to keep the decorations up in my bedroom for a whole year at one point (they became faded in the sunlight and so on over time. In hindsight, the point I as partly making was that if 'they' could (e.g. sales+marketing) it would be Christmas all year round in order to increase sales if there was demand imo). Since then I've reduced my involvement+participation in it over my years to the point where I give no gifts, send no cards etc nowadays (and inevitably receive very little in return too). As a result my 'festive period' is a far less 'high and low' experience. Perhaps I will join in in some kind of moderate balanced way in my future (or maybe not)...

I've not done Christmas for decades, why should I have to sit around a table to eat with others and make boringly predictable  'jolly' smalltalk?  Escape can be difficult, so not turning up in the first place was the answer.

I usually just shut myself away with several books and films and am perfectly happy.

I worked for a taxi firm for a few years where Xams was a very busy time: I earned a lot of money in just a few days, but many of the customers were drunken festive you-know-whats..... with bells on.

Bah.. humbug!

Ben

If I'd had an good year for anxiety (hasn't happened since 2019) I'd go over to my sister's house with my mum. 

It hasn't, so best case scenario I'll be spending it on my own and ignoring it. Right now I have no idea how I'll be then. 

Roy said:

I overheard a chef describe Christmas Turkey, “it’s a horrible thing when it’s alive and it’s even worse when it’s dead!”

Priceless common sense.  Priceless.

Thank you for sharing mate.

Roy said:

I fully understand the guilt angle, it’s almost used as a weapon

Oh yes, especially by my mother, oblivious as ever to the consequences of her own actions. It's not easy to untangle yourself from traditional social obligations, I've found it exhausting to try, but consider it worthwhile, in the end.

Roy said:

I have a customer who is actually going to a remote island for Christmas, camera, binoculars and birds

A great idea! I went to Orkney, last Christmas, a place I like, and enjoyed the peace and walking. I'll definitely do it again, it's a way of opting out of Christmas altogether, if you want to.

Roy said:

I overheard a chef describe Christmas Turkey, “it’s a horrible thing when it’s alive and it’s even worse when it’s dead!

Yeah, never been able to stand it. Now I'm free to not eat meat at all, which has always been my natural inclination, for many reasons.

Good Luck with your house move Roy, never easy, even when your going to a familiar place.

Shopping in person is hard enough and always risks meltdowns, but shopping during the Christmas period is a guaranteed meltdown so I always aim to do my shopping online. Sometimes I get dragged in town with my parents but I try to stay home and avoid the crowds.

I fully understand the guilt angle, it’s almost used as a weapon. I have a brother and sister, neither invite mother for Christmas, I wait every year to see if either of them do. My sister does the, “We have rented a small cottage by the sea so won’t be about.” My brother lives just in his family bubble. I won’t see her stay on her own so end up inviting her. This year is going to be very strange, my house sale will have completed by Christmas, my wife and I are moving into my childhood home for a year. It’s been my parents home for 55 years. The last Christmas I spent there was 9 years ago, my father was terminally ill and died on the 29th, his sister died suddenly three days before on Boxing Day. 

We have got a separate annex so I do have escape rooms. Moving is very stressful, I seem to be at mothers mending something most days, I can see her coming to Cornwall with us when we find the right place. Only problem is, we can only be in the same room for about 20 minutes. I have a customer who is actually going to a remote island for Christmas, camera, binoculars and birds.

I overheard a chef describe Christmas Turkey, “it’s a horrible thing when it’s alive and it’s even worse when it’s dead!”

I do most Christmas shopping now on the internet, food shopping I still like to personally do myself. Most supermarkets now open 24/7, I've found shopping late at night much easier, normally the horrible music has been turned off as even the staff have had enough. I still listen to Ken Bruce on the radio, he won’t play any Christmas music until the 1st of December. Christmas Day I normally do all the cooking, the kitchen is my escape room, “sorry would love to chat but I have all this cooking to do!”

That's the problem isn't it? There's no escaping it because it starts before Christmas even happens. If it was just a day or two I could cope but it's months of noise and packed shops.

I think the only thing I really dislike is the driving when we aren't having xmas at home.

At first, after leaving home, I returned to spend Christmas with my mother. She expected it, and I just complied, it didn't occur to me to challenge the idea, and although I actually dreaded it, alternatives of spending Christmas with others was worse. My sibling did the same. One year, when I was a student, it was particularly horrendous... my mum was superficially sociable and insisted on having hordes of her 'friends' round to the house and every year, since a child, this would bring a terrible time for us, with relentless insistence from her that we 'join in' and meltdowns/shutdowns from us...

This particular year, having escaped the house the day after Boxing Day, and run off up the rainy fell, I had a moment of clarity. I thought, I'm not doing this anymore. 

And I didn't. Although I was castigated for it, no end. I was a terrible person for not wanting to spend Christmas with my wonderful mother, apparently. But still, the next year I stayed alone in the student house I shared with two other reclusive people. Just me. It was weird at first - but good. After Christmas, I decided to get a little tree and some decorations for it, but that was my only concession to Christmas. I think I had soup and ice cream to eat on Christmas Day.

Since then, I have spent Christmas alone and wouldn't have it any other way. Some years now, I do spend a day or two with my sibling and his family betweenChristmasandNewYear. Since my mum died, I've lived again in my childhood home. It's a very different Christmas for me here now, than when I used to visit for Christmas.