Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been thinking recently about masking and the various means that one uses to mask. It has occurred to me, that the use of a ‘passive voice’ in my communication, is a big part of the way I write and speak.
I can remember all the way back to college, that tutors used to comment on my ‘wordiness’, I well-achieved (D*D*D*) in College but kids always used to say “You’re not that smart are you? You just write a lot”. The implication being that I was obscuring my lack of understanding. The more I’ve written, the better I have gotten at writing, but I still write a lot. I find that every now and again I take on a new element of language, but I always write a lot and I never reread, I just speed-write to victory. In my speech I do talk a lot, talking about anything at length and for length, I enjoy getting my thoughts out and enjoy how language is constructed in my head. But I also speak longer words and phrases in a disagreeable situation, to offset any aggressive reaction to my imperative, I find that a great rhetorical-tool can be found in elongated words and phrases and sentences.
I have thought that: Maybe it is because I have enjoy vocabulary but not grammar, or maybe it is because I never formally-learned grammar at school, or maybe I abandoned the ‘active voice’ as a means of non-detection and non-confrontation. It may even have been, a kind-of speed writing that I developed, to safely expose myself to writing and speech.
It has not been the case, that all the individuals that I know (who have an Autism Spectrum Condition), have a circumlocutory communication style. I have known some ASC individuals, to be very literal and active in their communication, and no less intelligent.
So I guess I am just interested to know: How this style of communication sits-with and is experienced by the community? Why the community thinks it occurs? Is it born of the environment and exposure? Is it a repetitive action or an interest? Is it a means of evasion or development? Is it the result of the level of skill attainment?
Wow, that’s so close to my own experience of myself (and others’ reactions to/tolerance or otherwise of my largely involuntary wordiness) that I could have written it myself. Ironically I’m too burned out just now to write in my usual runaway train style so this atypically concise ‘same here!’ sentiment will have to do for now! Interesting thread though
Thanks man.. top marks for being the first reply..:D
Of all the literature that I have read, I don’t really come across it that often, I catch ‘pedantic’ speech a lot though. I’ve always considered verbosity, to be a core tenant of my ‘peculiarity’, as I called it prior to diagnosis. I’ve been trying to work through all of the ‘extra stuff’ I’ve accrued, as an undiagnosed individual, and this is one of those pieces I have trouble finding a fit for.
No worries man, I ‘get’ being burned out, thanks again..
I’ll say a bit more when I feel up to it. One thing I find is that when I can sense people getting to the end of their tether with my over elaborate sidewinding towards a point, it just makes me worse. I can feel a rising panic about it (hoping to god they don’t think it’s some affectation but generally knowing they usually know me well enough to know it’s not but still feeling wretched for them as I ramble on) and I start over analysing what I’m doing and somehow the jumble of words and tangents gets worse. My family are the ones who feel most comfortable saying to me ‘can we get to the f**ing point some time today?!’ Which can be funny but they still haven’t learned that it makes me trip over my own verbosity all the more. They just delay the ‘point’ even more! Can you or anyone relate to this aspect?
My vocabulary is not fantastic being honest. I do take a log winded approach to getting to a point and through the pressure from others often forget the point I was getting to. It bloody hurts so much, that sinking feeling when people are looking at you hanging on to your words and then you just don’t get there. Then I have that conversation over and over again sometimes for weeks and it’s perfect in my head. Im sure I would come across a lot smarter if my brain could keep up with communication.
I had suspected undiagnosed-bipolar for mine, my grandfather is without a doubt autistic though, and youve never seen a more-disaffective person..
I couldn’t agree more..
Sod the old days! I am a case that is often considered to be "mental" or "super weird" or "unsettling" by many folk who encounter me.......when I am not trying to maintain a modicum of fained normalcy.
A good part of Yoga is aimed to stop the internal dialogue. Accordingly to modern yogi, almost everyone can learn to stop it with a few years of practice.