Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’ve been feeling very strong nostalgia for lockdown the past days- I miss the quiet, the peace, the empty streets, being able to work from home, not having to socialise in person except for possibly going on a walk with someone, it being acceptable to mainly socialise online, time moving more slowly, being able to live life at my rhythm ... - does anyone else feel this way? I am very burnt out and overwhelmed at the moment which I think is making me crave for a pause more than ever. Someone said to me recently that life does not have a pause button but that we crave that sometimes - which is exactly how I feel right now- I want life to pause, to forget about all the deadlines I have to meet, to just be able to exist with no pressure in my own bubble- I think lockdown was the closest I ever experienced to life being on pause.
I hope I am not being insensitive here- the pandemic caused a lot of misery and the reasons that led to lockdown being necessary are bad - I just miss aspects of what life was like during lockdown and am in urgent need of a pause that I am not going to get.
When the first lockdown happened, which I tend to refer to as the 'proper lockdown' I remember feeling as though much of the pressure I feel had just instantly ebbed away. I felt more content and happier than I had done in years. I loved the fact that there was minimal traffic on the roads, and that I could open my windows and hear the sounds of birds chirping, without the sound of heavy traffic in the distance. The social distancing meant that I could venture outdoors without worrying about coming into close contact with large crowds of people, and people in general.
I remember that some of my friends and relations found it hard to grasp why I wasn't feeling as frustrated as they were. My response was to point out that the way they were feeling probably wasn't that dis-similar to how I had felt for more than four decades. For want of a better way of phrasing it, I kind of felt like a caged animal that had been freed.
As time went on and restrictions were lifted, the more depressed I began to feel. I'd had a taste of freedom, and I resented the fact that it had been taken away from me.
Obviously, I had sympathy for those who had lost loved ones as a result of the pandemic. The fact that people couldn't visit loved ones in hospital, weddings that had to be cancelled, etc.
Sporadic Sparkly said: I'd had a taste of freedom, and I resented the fact that it had been taken away from me.
Completely. Isn't it ironic that in times of such restrictions we actually felt more free.