Friend Requests that arouse suspicion - Is it just me?

From my own perspective, the purpose of a Friend Request is to allow private messaging. Shortly after I had discovered the NAS forum, I had accepted a Friend Request from a member that I knew I didn't have enough in common with to consider them a friend. At the time, they were lacking in confidence and reluctant to participate in the forum. I felt sorry for them and thought that I could draw them out from their shell. Eventually, I removed them as a friend because I found our messaging exchanges far too stressful. I felt horrible for doing that.

I like the forums as a way of interacting with other members. To me, it's a less pressured environment.

Yes - I feel frustrated by any user that starts a thread and then never re-appears despite oodles of well meaning advice from many people on here.  Frankly, I find that a bit rude.......but more acutely, I hate the feeling of unresolved uncertainty that then floats around my brain.

Personally, you won't be surprised to hear that I don't assess people who choose to remain as a NAS****, but I do proceed with caution if I can see a very low 'points' score ie very new user.

I have tried to meet people half way now - I've added a profile photo and updated my bio with full personal details that I am happy to share !?

You and me both Catlover.  Something very "off."

You say you have 'understandably' received few Friend Requests Shardovan. From my perspective, I think you're being too hard on yourself. Whilst YOU may think it's understandable, I don't, and I feel sure that I am not alone in thinking that.

In addition to feeling low, I imagine that you must have felt confused when the friend you had built up a good rapport with, suddenly disappeared from the forum completely. However, as they had removed ALL their friends beforehand, and not just you, I would be inclined not to dwell on it too much and take it to heart. Yes, I know this can be easier said than done.

Hello Shardovan, I know I haven't been very active on here, but certain members have made me want to bare my fangs again, but in my response to you I will keep my muzzle on, but I will get to the point, I feel you are giving too much benefit of the doubt.

This person has been repeatedly derailing topics by asking for "help" and ignoring all advice given, because they "can't", topics that someone else had put due to personal struggles that they, whoever is affected, did need advice on and has been posting endless nappy links to derail posts.

My patience has worn extremely thin Shardovan, I will be blunt, I think either you are wasting the empathy that you clearly possess on someone who does not value it or that this person is a troll, I see no other alternatives. 

They "struggle a great deal" with almost no specific, concise information ever, other than nappies and children at ages that don't add up, endlessly asking for friends and endlessly asking for help but denying all advice, heck one of their posts "triggered" me because it said my "child pulls his pants up and down and his penis" in my mind I am not sure what this means, Is the child, below puberty according to what I have read, to learn how to cope with my own nonsense I will add, simulating masturbation, which is not natural for a young boy before round about twelve when puberty kicks in.

Note: I am not calling you out Shardovan, when a certain behaviour P's me off some of what I can say may sound accusatory towards you, that is not my intention, I've read enough to know you're a "sweetheart", Unfortunately sometimes people like me have to enter the fray, I am trying to say my anger is not directed at you at all Shardovan, this whole comment is just another way of me coming to grips with my mind.

To NAS82959, you've posted the above repeatedly, many people have given you advice and you have responded with I "can't", well here is what you can do, you can stop derailing other people who are struggling with their own issues looking for advice, they can't physically help you, all they can give is advice, you're on your own otherwise, accept it and deal with it, if what you have put is genuine or your other option is to die, that is of course if you've actually reached that level of desperation.

If you have I do feel for you, but it does not excuse the nonsense you've "repeatedly" derailed other people's topics with your goddamn links.

My personal opinion is that you are a troll, pretending to have issues to garner support, if that is the case, you will gain absolutely no sympathy from me, you are trash, I bare my fang's if that is what you are, if that is not the case, I will give whatever advice I am able to, but this comment spamming had to stop, a lot of the other's, I'm sure really don't need it.

Use. Your. Words.

Do NOT be vague all the time.

I wholeheartedly agree with you about not clicking links that may be unsafe, and not going along with dodgy instructions. However, I fear that I may not have explained myself clearly enough in my original post... the point being that I would rather know something about a person first, and feel that a mutual rapport has been established on the forum, before agreeing to accept a friend request.

I've had a few messages since my reply earlier so now turned off private messages. 

I'm glad people were able to help you.

It's a relief to know that I'm not the only person here that finds it unnerving Luna.

Thanks for the feedback Vardaguyn.

I'm feeling rather overwhelmed by the number of responses this post has generated. I would like to respond individually to those that have shared their own experiences and/or thoughts on this topic, but this is likely to take some time. For now, I would simply like to say "Thank you!"

Yes, I’m pretty sure they are desperate for help. They are young, and probably have things they want or need to say but don’t know how.

I think a simple post and just one sentence on the forum saying what they need help with would make way for many helpful responses.

There is one person who appears in this thread, who I have interacted with on multiple occasions and believe to have even more trouble than I with establishing a reasonable communication. 

I've tried quite hard myself, to get a bit of two way going, and it's been unusually difficult, and if I were a nervous person I'd find it a bit offputting, if I were inclined to be short tempered I'd find it annoying, but since I elicit those reactions in some people I'm doing my best to try and figure out if there's anything I can do to help them. 

I am not doing well at that task, currently, and I've been tempted to ask other members for some help with this one person, but I thought it was only me being silly and that time would provide a solution. (that works way more often than you'd expect the "do nothing until you are sure what to do" approach to solving problems)

I know exactly who this is. I did not respond to any messages or interactions to me, because the vibe was very much ‘off’.

Whether they are up to no good, or simply don’t know how to interact with people in an appropriate manner I don’t know, but I felt best steering clear. 

Reads Luna's post, goes to have a look to see if it's me, breathes a sigh of relief... :c)

Was it an 'NA....'-ID person?

I can ony see friend requests on the laptop for some reason. I don't add anyone I haven't previously spoken to and don't accept requests off nas number users.  Also posts get started by unnamed users then never get responded to.

I too had this. 

Many thanks

I'm sorry your finding this. I've had this too and had to remove someone.

If you go to your profile page, click friends there should be an Edit button on the top left, click that and you should be able to delete and unfollow the member that way.

:) 

Does anyone know how to unfriend someone? I made an error of judgement earlier today (accepting a friend request) and feel uncomfortable with the resulting situation. Stuff isn't adding up (one minute the person has a kid, the next they are at school) and it's weirding me out a bit. I wanted to help, but I'm seeing red flags - could be rampant paranoia, and I'd hate to leave someone genuine who's genuinely (?) isolated and confused feeling  even more so, but nonetehlesss...